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I loved you yesterday... - Nobody wears a white coat any more... — LiveJournal
...a tribute to becoming a doctor.
ayradyss
ayradyss
I loved you yesterday...
David: James is near. I can always tell, because my butt tingles.

I'm tired, world. Tired of being an invalid, of being invalid, of having to have someone else drive, carry boxes, and do all the work I want to do. I'm tired of having to stretch my arm to the point of pain - the point I know I should be avoiding if I want to heal - to fasten my own pants. I'm tired, O Best Beloved, of typing with one hand and the other being useless to me. I'm tired of looking around and seing a bunch of things that need to be done and being unable ti do any of them.
I'm tired of the constant pain. More tired of the silence and the aloneness that is most of the day, since nobody gets up before noon. Tired of the strangenes that has overwhelmed me. Where has the world gone, in shadow and silver?

Talked morality with D this morning. Got to thinking how far I've strayed from what I want, how easy it is to not care, how easy to just slide along. This week isn't much of a break, O Best Beloved. Not much of a break from my thoughts. Being so handicapped...I hate feling useless.

now feeling:: depressed depressed
now hearing:: Mexican Hat Trick - Woody Herman

3 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word
Comments
daimones From: daimones Date: April 3rd, 2003 01:37 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)
Poor David. :)

You know if you be a good patient...you've got friends and loved ones who are willing to help you. Yes, we are lazy bums, but admit it, you'd be lazy too if yo ucould get away with it. :) Don't feel useless. You help us in our times of need, and we help you. It's how this stuff works. *grrs cutely* I know that doesn't help from feeling like your so much useless baggage (I hate feeling that way. I should make my own damned way in the world. Course, how many times have you helped me when I've been like that?), but you do the things you can, you rest when you can't do the rest...it's just what it is.

I'm kinda curious about morality, though. And D. And all. And I've got my own questions to ask you. Email me? :0

Where has the world gone, in shadow and silver? Black and white meld, shades of grey. Immutable meaning misted through, lost in shadow, shade astray. Purity diluted for flavour and taste, coloured swift, meaning true. Find your palette, imagine away, shadow and silver, and colours too.
beowulfalive From: beowulfalive Date: April 3rd, 2003 02:49 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)

Thump to the chin

S'aight Kat, you'll pull through and eventually look back on this with horror and relief it's over and done with. Perhaps a different angle, look at your loved ones who are helping you out and buttoning up your pants, and enjoy that you've got em all here for ya when ya need it :) Makes it a little easier to handle. Enjoy the fact that you have an excuse to be a bum, he heh. :)
loonyatcbh From: loonyatcbh Date: April 4th, 2003 04:08 am (UTC) (etched in stone)

Morality, etc.

I, too, am curious about morality, etc. The abyss has swampy, puddley edges which are making funny sucky noises on my feet. I've just trudged out, though, maybe for good. Want to email/chat with me, too? I promise not to pester you about D...

Alles liebe...

3 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word