- Jefe: Hey, glittertits. Want to rub my crescent moon?
- Jefe, to GM: Make up something that we were doing, while the rest of the party was out and about.
GM: The moon elf and the sun elf were off making an eclipse...if you know what I mean.
- Me: Can I be a Wearer of Purple who wears black?
- GM: Oh! Bri! Mount! (Beat.) Mount, Bri.
- Angel: She will nance another day. But she will nance damn fast.
- GM: You're really spiff, suddenly.
Bri: Do my sparkles shine more?
GM: Yeah. You gain a point in sparkleness.
- Me: I need to come up with a way to spend a couple of points.
Angel: Profession: Man-whore
- Jefe: I came up with an anthem for the drow: "Kill kill, hate hate, murder murder, mutilate."
GM: You so get nance points for that.
- Jefe: Divine mounts are difficult to change the alignment of. Usually the god says "That's my pony you messin' with, bitch..."
- GM: You could turn her evil. Make her glitter black.
Jefe: Yeah, she begins to glow in black light now.
- Jefe: A melancholy, moody deity...
Me: Okay, I just heard melancholy booty deity.
- Angel: You want me to - AHH! THAT'S HOT! (Beat.) Um, okay, no, it's just mildly warm.
- Jefe: You know, for being a god of dead things, he just doesn't look....deathly.
- Angel: Why does a god only have a +4 sword?
Jefe: +4 Ghost touch, holy, keen undead-bane bastard sword.
Angel: Oh, that's why it's only +4.
- Me: Okay, go over there, pull down your pants and grab your ankles.
Jefe: We'll show you atonement.
- GM: You are hayled! And he hits you on the forehead, and falls over. Praise KAY-vis!
- GM: Ugh. Freaky naked bust.
Angel: Wiggle the mouse, it'll go away.
James: I think he already wiggled the mouse.
- James: I wait for an altar to be available....
Angel: I'd like to schedule a homicide tonight...
GM: They have an open spot between four and five o'clock tonight. Don't go more than fifteen minutes over, there are a lot of sacrifices waiting tonight.
- GM: Oh, by Lloth's eighth leg...
Me (gesturing): Pop. Seventh, now.
- GM: You find yourself in a misty grey swirly place.
GM: No, James.
Me: Then stop looking at me!
- Me: I'm never going to be a fighter again. There's too much math.
- Me: I strip his body of everything he owns. Including his foreskin.
- Angel: I didn't know I held that much of your attention.
Bri (from the sidelines): Lucky you.
Me (in character): Lucky you.
Bri: Plagiaristic bitch!
- Me: I'm going to take my large shield, my haversack, my bag of holding, and my newly-discarded dignity and go back to my room.
Jefe: Who discarded your dignity?
Angel: He came to me looking for help, and said thank you. He's all pansy now.
Me: I just wanted to know who was trying to kill me....
- GM: And there's a little signature on the small of your back, with a date: "Lloth was here." And a spider print.
- Jefe: I was cooler than you...for the one sesion I wasn't here for.
- GM: And now the dragon comes out and kills you.
Me: I eat breakfast.
- Bri (considering James): If he flies high enough, that might be a challenging shot.
- Angel: Daemon....not-a-daemon. Daemon....not-a-daemon....
- GM: ...and he has a +2 nancing bastard sword.
Me (writing): A +2....
GM: Nancing bastard sword.
- Angel: What if I want a nancing bitch-sword?
- Me: I make less conversation with her than usual.
Angel: How can you say negative words?
- GM: And the brown dragon hisses, and goes "grr, grr, grr...."
- Jefe: The elves' dice...suck ass tonight.
- Angel (to dice): I hate you. I hate you. You blow. Large. Goats.
Jefe: He didn't make it, by the way.
- GM: Are you going to have your horse do something? You know...it can go (making hand gestures) "hoof, hoof, bite..."
- Jefe: Unless I'm shooting into melee....
Me: It's large enough that if you shoot at its ass, you won't risk hitting us...
James: Oooh, hole in one!
- Angel: How about you go underground, and come back up, and we'll start this fight over?
- Jefe: Okay, this whole bow thing sucks. The fighters are just killing us for damage. I mean they're fighters, so I suppose it makes sense, but...
Me (as Angel heals his character up to half hit points): Think of the good side. You aren't getting your ass nailed to the ground, either.
- Angel: Shit. I get nailed to the ground.
Jefe: We're about to have a dead cleric.
Angel: Mostly dead.
- GM: You are goosed for points.
- GM: It (the dragon) looks really really bad. It looks so bad, in fact, that I wish its turn were next, because it would run away.
- Jefe: I suppose I could claim the kill....
GM (adopting a foppish posture): I got it....
- James: Can I suck the blood out of the dragon heart?
Angel: She's not watching him....
Me: Me either, because I so don't need this shit.
- James: Go on, I'll catch up later.
Me: Just got to finish unzipping my pants...
James: No, he is not going to go that far.
Angel: Just going to take the dragon's schlong...
Me: Do dragons have foreskins?
- Jefe: Why is it that when I approach an woman's breasts, my intelligence drops by five or six?
- James: Who needs intelligence when your penis is hard?
- Jefe: No, most animals just have a penis that pops out when it's needed....
- Jefe: It's a ring of Michael Flately...
- Me: Remember, it's ten sessions per level.
GM: Ewww, fuck that.
- Me (typing quotes): Glow, not blow.
Jefe: She does that in black light too...
- Jefe: You know, I've noticed that you have to work really hard to rack yourself really hard.
The list: Quotes from RPness.
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