• Angel: I want a talking rock.
  GM: You can have a disembodied rock.
  Angel: What's it disembodied from?
  GM: The earth.


• David: Are there many undead pedophiles wandering around?
  GM: That depends on what you mean by pedophile - undead children?
  Me: Because you have the undead children who are seven or eight hundred years old and just look like Michael Jackson's wet dream...
  GM (cringing): I think...I might have to kill your character for that.


• David: Why does everyone always blame me for all the disturbing things that get said?
  GM: Because you said them.
  David: Whether I said them or not is not the issue. Why am I getting blamed?
  Angel: You can tell you're going into law.


• GM: We don't get drunk. We get sober.


• David: I need a bag of...
  Me: Many weasels?


• Angel: It's a dire ferret.


• David: I can have....fifty-two weasels!
  GM (cringing): No, you can't.


• GM: You're in the....conservatory.
  David: There's a candlestick and Professor Plum! I win!


• Angel: I kick you in the jimmy.
  David: I don't have a jimmy.


• Me: I'm looking for something cute, sweet, and young.
  Angel: Siren.
  David: Nymph.
  Angel: Demonic siren with a vampiric template.


• GM: It takes most of the afternoon to get her to boff you, but you can.
  Me: Okay. Then I take all of her clothes while she's sleeping and leave them with the innkeeper.
  GM: What was the point of that?
  Me: Well, she had a reputation.
  GM: Not...until now.
  Me: Oh, and I leave her about twenty or thirty gold pieces.
  GM (spluttering): Why?
  Me: I'm Chaotic Evil. He's bored, and it's better than killing her...
  GM: Mental note: Olivia is now a whore.


• GM: Make a Fort Save, DC 22.
  David: Um, failed.
  GM (gleefully): You die.
  David: Wait. That was my Reflex bonus. I made it.
  GM: Damn.


• Angel: I am the opposite of the average alignment around me...


• Angel: Don't Creeping Doom the boat.
  David: I'm not going to Creeping Doom the boat. It's a bunch of Evil Things. If you want to kill a bunch of Evil Things, you use a happy sunbeam! I'm going to happy sunshiny the boat...


• James: ...keep you in the basement, and torture you daily.
  Observing Little Child: Okay.
  James: By making you listen to opera.
  Child: Um, um....


• Angel: I don't know if undead going out with sunglasses on works...


• David: If Nykki was a guy, she could probably sell her sperm for lots of money.


• GM: ... A city made of glass.
  Me (facepalming): Oh, no.
  GM (gleefully): It's sparkly.


• Me: I look a little green.
  GM: You have a green drow.


• David: I watch the drow sparring and use Thousand Faces to look like him, then look like her. Then him, then her.
  Angel: Freak.
  Me: For once I agree with you.
  David: I look hurt. Or, rather, he looks hurt, then she looks hurt, then he looks hurt....


• We are on the Celestial plane. Angel (to me): You. Don't talk to anyone on this plane. Don't even look at anyone.


• David: We need to do some Kima-therapy (Kima is the goddess of passion)


• Me: MY squishy brain.


• Angel (to David): Hold still, I'll kill you, and then that will set the balance all right.
  David: How about you suicide on him (pointing to James), and that'll work out in the long run?


• David: We need to find the One of Blooded Wings. Sounds like Ralph.


• David: I sold my wings for a-
  Me: Mess of pottage?
  David: Yes.
  Angel (the religion major): What?
  GM: I thought she said "massive cottage"...


• Me: In typing out this "mess of pottage" thing, I think I missed something awful that's about to happen to me.
  GM: Nope. Not yet.


• GM (eerily): They speak of a daemon child....his wings drip blood...
  David: Do you know where he lives?
  Me (singing): Do you know the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man...?


• GM: You can tell it's in disrepair because it's not quite as shiny as the rest of them.
  David: I cast Light on it to spruce it up a bit.


• David (about me): Paranoid, isn't he?
  Angel: Yes.
  David: Do you think there's anything he wants to atone for?
  Me: That's the best part. I don't want to atone for anything.


• David: This one is...the deity of pleasurable wedgies.


• James (to Angel): What's wrong? Is your god broken?


• Angel: I don't know how someone who's four foot five is carrying two naginatas...
  GM: They're shortened for your pleasure.


• David: I transmute the chains to wood.
  GM: They clunk now. Are you going to summon two Dire Beavers?
  David: Hey....


• GM: You're floating in the Astral Plane.
  Me: I turn white.


• David: ...to the desert on a horse with no name...
  GM: Clyde.


• GM: Morning comes.
  Angel: Eww, watch your fingers.
  James: I give it Kleenex.


• David: Can you warp a woody?


• GM: What about it, James? Is your character going to go along with being stuck like a pig?
  James (looking down): What do you think?
  David: You're asking your wang?

now feeling:: amused
now hearing:: Century Classics II - Gloria et Gloria tropus