- Angel: I want a talking rock.
GM: You can have a disembodied rock.
Angel: What's it disembodied from?
GM: The earth.
- David: Are there many undead pedophiles wandering around?
GM: That depends on what you mean by pedophile - undead children?
Me: Because you have the undead children who are seven or eight hundred years old and just look like Michael Jackson's wet dream...
GM (cringing): I think...I might have to kill your character for that.
- David: Why does everyone always blame me for all the disturbing things that get said?
GM: Because you said them.
David: Whether I said them or not is not the issue. Why am I getting blamed?
Angel: You can tell you're going into law.
- GM: We don't get drunk. We get sober.
- David: I need a bag of...
Me: Many weasels?
- Angel: It's a dire ferret.
- David: I can have....fifty-two weasels!
GM (cringing): No, you can't.
- GM: You're in the....conservatory.
David: There's a candlestick and Professor Plum! I win!
- Angel: I kick you in the jimmy.
David: I don't have a jimmy.
- Me: I'm looking for something cute, sweet, and young.
Angel: Demonic siren with a vampiric template.
- GM: It takes most of the afternoon to get her to boff you, but you can.
Me: Okay. Then I take all of her clothes while she's sleeping and leave them with the innkeeper.
GM: What was the point of that?
Me: Well, she had a reputation.
GM: Not...until now.
Me: Oh, and I leave her about twenty or thirty gold pieces.
GM (spluttering): Why?
Me: I'm Chaotic Evil. He's bored, and it's better than killing her...
GM: Mental note: Olivia is now a whore.
- GM: Make a Fort Save, DC 22.
David: Um, failed.
GM (gleefully): You die.
David: Wait. That was my Reflex bonus. I made it.
- Angel: I am the opposite of the average alignment around me...
- Angel: Don't Creeping Doom the boat.
David: I'm not going to Creeping Doom the boat. It's a bunch of Evil Things. If you want to kill a bunch of Evil Things, you use a happy sunbeam! I'm going to happy sunshiny the boat...
- James: ...keep you in the basement, and torture you daily.
Observing Little Child: Okay.
James: By making you listen to opera.
Child: Um, um....
- Angel: I don't know if undead going out with sunglasses on works...
- David: If Nykki was a guy, she could probably sell her sperm for lots of money.
- GM: ... A city made of glass.
Me (facepalming): Oh, no.
GM (gleefully): It's sparkly.
- Me: I look a little green.
GM: You have a green drow.
- David: I watch the drow sparring and use Thousand Faces to look like him, then look like her. Then him, then her.
Me: For once I agree with you.
David: I look hurt. Or, rather, he looks hurt, then she looks hurt, then he looks hurt....
- We are on the Celestial plane. Angel (to me): You. Don't talk to anyone on this plane. Don't even look at anyone.
- David: We need to do some Kima-therapy (Kima is the goddess of passion)
- Me: MY squishy brain.
- Angel (to David): Hold still, I'll kill you, and then that will set the balance all right.
David: How about you suicide on him (pointing to James), and that'll work out in the long run?
- David: We need to find the One of Blooded Wings. Sounds like Ralph.
- David: I sold my wings for a-
Me: Mess of pottage?
Angel (the religion major): What?
GM: I thought she said "massive cottage"...
- Me: In typing out this "mess of pottage" thing, I think I missed something awful that's about to happen to me.
GM: Nope. Not yet.
- GM (eerily): They speak of a daemon child....his wings drip blood...
David: Do you know where he lives?
Me (singing): Do you know the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man...?
- GM: You can tell it's in disrepair because it's not quite as shiny as the rest of them.
David: I cast Light on it to spruce it up a bit.
- David (about me): Paranoid, isn't he?
David: Do you think there's anything he wants to atone for?
Me: That's the best part. I don't want to atone for anything.
- David: This one is...the deity of pleasurable wedgies.
- James (to Angel): What's wrong? Is your god broken?
- Angel: I don't know how someone who's four foot five is carrying two naginatas...
GM: They're shortened for your pleasure.
- David: I transmute the chains to wood.
GM: They clunk now. Are you going to summon two Dire Beavers?
- GM: You're floating in the Astral Plane.
Me: I turn white.
- David: ...to the desert on a horse with no name...
- GM: Morning comes.
Angel: Eww, watch your fingers.
James: I give it Kleenex.
- David: Can you warp a woody?
- GM: What about it, James? Is your character going to go along with being stuck like a pig?
James (looking down): What do you think?
David: You're asking your wang?
Tonight's RP quotage...
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