I whisper your name (ayradyss) wrote,
I whisper your name

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Tonight's RP quotage...

  • Angel: I want a talking rock.
    GM: You can have a disembodied rock.
    Angel: What's it disembodied from?
    GM: The earth.

  • David: Are there many undead pedophiles wandering around?
    GM: That depends on what you mean by pedophile - undead children?
    Me: Because you have the undead children who are seven or eight hundred years old and just look like Michael Jackson's wet dream...
    GM (cringing): I think...I might have to kill your character for that.

  • David: Why does everyone always blame me for all the disturbing things that get said?
    GM: Because you said them.
    David: Whether I said them or not is not the issue. Why am I getting blamed?
    Angel: You can tell you're going into law.

  • GM: We don't get drunk. We get sober.

  • David: I need a bag of...
    Me: Many weasels?

  • Angel: It's a dire ferret.

  • David: I can have....fifty-two weasels!
    GM (cringing): No, you can't.

  • GM: You're in the....conservatory.
    David: There's a candlestick and Professor Plum! I win!

  • Angel: I kick you in the jimmy.
    David: I don't have a jimmy.

  • Me: I'm looking for something cute, sweet, and young.
    Angel: Siren.
    David: Nymph.
    Angel: Demonic siren with a vampiric template.

  • GM: It takes most of the afternoon to get her to boff you, but you can.
    Me: Okay. Then I take all of her clothes while she's sleeping and leave them with the innkeeper.
    GM: What was the point of that?
    Me: Well, she had a reputation.
    GM: Not...until now.
    Me: Oh, and I leave her about twenty or thirty gold pieces.
    GM (spluttering): Why?
    Me: I'm Chaotic Evil. He's bored, and it's better than killing her...
    GM: Mental note: Olivia is now a whore.

  • GM: Make a Fort Save, DC 22.
    David: Um, failed.
    GM (gleefully): You die.
    David: Wait. That was my Reflex bonus. I made it.
    GM: Damn.

  • Angel: I am the opposite of the average alignment around me...

  • Angel: Don't Creeping Doom the boat.
    David: I'm not going to Creeping Doom the boat. It's a bunch of Evil Things. If you want to kill a bunch of Evil Things, you use a happy sunbeam! I'm going to happy sunshiny the boat...

  • James: ...keep you in the basement, and torture you daily.
    Observing Little Child: Okay.
    James: By making you listen to opera.
    Child: Um, um....

  • Angel: I don't know if undead going out with sunglasses on works...

  • David: If Nykki was a guy, she could probably sell her sperm for lots of money.

  • GM: ... A city made of glass.
    Me (facepalming): Oh, no.
    GM (gleefully): It's sparkly.

  • Me: I look a little green.
    GM: You have a green drow.

  • David: I watch the drow sparring and use Thousand Faces to look like him, then look like her. Then him, then her.
    Angel: Freak.
    Me: For once I agree with you.
    David: I look hurt. Or, rather, he looks hurt, then she looks hurt, then he looks hurt....

  • We are on the Celestial plane. Angel (to me): You. Don't talk to anyone on this plane. Don't even look at anyone.

  • David: We need to do some Kima-therapy (Kima is the goddess of passion)

  • Me: MY squishy brain.

  • Angel (to David): Hold still, I'll kill you, and then that will set the balance all right.
    David: How about you suicide on him (pointing to James), and that'll work out in the long run?

  • David: We need to find the One of Blooded Wings. Sounds like Ralph.

  • David: I sold my wings for a-
    Me: Mess of pottage?
    David: Yes.
    Angel (the religion major): What?
    GM: I thought she said "massive cottage"...

  • Me: In typing out this "mess of pottage" thing, I think I missed something awful that's about to happen to me.
    GM: Nope. Not yet.

  • GM (eerily): They speak of a daemon child....his wings drip blood...
    David: Do you know where he lives?
    Me (singing): Do you know the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man...?

  • GM: You can tell it's in disrepair because it's not quite as shiny as the rest of them.
    David: I cast Light on it to spruce it up a bit.

  • David (about me): Paranoid, isn't he?
    Angel: Yes.
    David: Do you think there's anything he wants to atone for?
    Me: That's the best part. I don't want to atone for anything.

  • David: This one is...the deity of pleasurable wedgies.

  • James (to Angel): What's wrong? Is your god broken?

  • Angel: I don't know how someone who's four foot five is carrying two naginatas...
    GM: They're shortened for your pleasure.

  • David: I transmute the chains to wood.
    GM: They clunk now. Are you going to summon two Dire Beavers?
    David: Hey....

  • GM: You're floating in the Astral Plane.
    Me: I turn white.

  • David: ...to the desert on a horse with no name...
    GM: Clyde.

  • GM: Morning comes.
    Angel: Eww, watch your fingers.
    James: I give it Kleenex.

  • David: Can you warp a woody?

  • GM: What about it, James? Is your character going to go along with being stuck like a pig?
    James (looking down): What do you think?
    David: You're asking your wang?

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