- Lily: Do I know about women?
Me: Want to know them better?
Lily: I have...nothing decent to say.
- GM: Get your angst on, girl. We're about ready.
- DM: To the Outer Planes? Short of a god, there's not much way...
Jeff: I need to take "open portal," that's what I need.
Me: I need to take "schmooze god".
GM (making shoulder rolls): Hey, baby...
Me: Open your portal for me...
- GM: ...the planar garage-door opener of wickedness...
- Angel: We take our horses...
GM: Which are alive....(meaningful look) Take a note.
- GM: You see something...large and brown.
Angel: It's a shit-dragon.
- Bri: A mime is a terrible thing to waste....
Dash: We already wasted a few. Why not another?
- Me: Will you please refrain from saying witty things while I'm rolling dice?
Angel: Yeah. No quips during combat.
- GM: It giggles at you.
Me: Fuck you. Fucking shit-dragons.
- GM: It giggles (clapping his hands) Oooh!
Bri: Great. It's flaming.
- Jefe: You're obviously worthy of having a song written about you. You're very large and scaly.
- Angel: Well, what do you need done?
GM (as a dragon): Well, my nails, for one.
Me: Oh, my god. It's a fag-dragon.
- GM: What'll you give me?
Me (indicating Lily): You can have the elf.
Angel: We're a -party- of elves.
- GM: He stops at you. "What've you got there?"
I look up from the computer with a startled expression.
GM: He's detecting magic.
Me: Oh, whew.
- Me: All I want in life is to fuck one person!
Jefe: I've had that feeling myself.
- Me: I'm going to take a swing at it, just on principle.
GM: You hack at dragon flesh. It's dead already.
Me: That's okay. I feel better.
- GM: There's one blue tile.
Me (to Angel): Push on it.
Angel (to me): You.
Me: Okay. I push on it.
GM: Nothing happens.
Me: See? Nothing happened. Pansy-ass bitch.
- Jefe: Is that undead?
Angel: Not yet.
- Me: She's an elf. She's not inhuman.
Angel: Yes, she is.</l>
- Me: I have two masterwork +1 Kamas...
Angel: And I have a +1 semicolon.
- Bri: How do you say no to that?
- Me: It's a drow! With wings, for her protection.
- Me: Eric, I'm out of drink.
GM: What? I'm trying to kill you at the moment.
- Jefe (to Lily): What's your deity again?
Lily (to Jefe): Drink!
Me: Bacchus, apparently.
- Me: One +1 flaming rapier.
GM: I want to kill thomebody.
- GM: You see a bricked-up wall.
Angel: How well-bricked?
- Me: Drow chick is getting the shit kicked out of her?
Me: Good. Teach her some humility.
- Jefe (muffled): I now have dice in my mouth, so if you don't want to catch my germs, don't use these dice. (spits, rollls) Woohoo!</i>
D&D Quotes, 07 February 2003
Night float. I got called on a patient, one of my cross-covers that I know well after spending an hour trying to establish code status and avoid…
It always amazes me that I can walk into someone's room, calmly discuss the death sentence they've just been handed, and then go back to sleep. It's…
Two patients this morning - one who's finally gotten her EP studies and is now going home, the other in rehab. Done rounding by 08:20. Got called by…