- GM: I should give you a bonus to AC for the rivets on your nipples.
Bri: Don't piss me off, I'll run at you full-speed.
- Bri: He's going to be a bard.
Angel: We have a nance!
- Dash: Because you have a thing for drow boys. Completely platonically, of course.
- GM: Don't cast Ray of Frost on elves. Those nipples are deadly.
- Me: I'm outfitting the boy. Properly.
Angel: If you start picking up levels of cleric, I'm going to be worried.
- Angel: Yes. I'm making confession. Of a drow priestess in training.
Dash: Forgive me, Father, for I have fucked every man in existence.
GM: When you're done, he goes to have a cigarette, then comes back...
- GM (to Bri): Hey, glittertits!
Bri: I'm going to have to go look that up in the Tolkien dictionary online.
Dash: I seriously doubt 'tit' has been translated into Elvish.
- Jeff: Hi! What are you doing on the surface?
Me: Buying clothes.
- Me: Would it make you feel better if I were trying to kill you?
- Angel: Frank's Emporium of Expensive Crap.
GM: Wow. It's Pier One.
- Dash: Well, if you're going to call her 'Glittertits', I think she can call your NPC's 'Atrocious'.
- Me, gesturing: She's 'Glittertits', you're 'Notits'.
- Bri: I've been wounded by an asterisk!
- Dash: I ask the two rangers - You are both elves, are you not?
GM: No, actually, he's a human.
Dash: Oh, well, forget him.
- James: Would any of my L--
- Me: What are these? Coked-up gas station attendants?
GM: Funny you should mention gas...they're actually ghasts. It's a ghast station...get it?
- Insert far too many "ghast" puns for me to be willing to replicate.
- Bri: I'm going to kill someone, and it's not going to be who I'm aiming for.
- GM: Do more than four points of damage.
Dash (rolling dice): Nope, two.
Dash: Look, I hit something. Work with me.
- James: Every now and then I fly off.
Bri: I'll be nice and not reach for my bow.
- GM: You hear rustling in the trees.
James: I look up. What does it look like?
- GM: It's a plus-one, flaming rapier.
GM: Why was I expecting that?
- James: I yell 'Hi'.
Bri: You're such a cheerful little daemon.
- GM: You can, you're a second level bard.
Dash: No, I'm a first-level bard.
GM: You're second-level now.
Dash: Oh. I wish someone would've told me.
Bri: Guess what?
GM: You feel spiffier. And nancier.
- Bri: I finger my short sword.
Dash: I know you might be out in the woods all alone, but using the short sword might be a bit extreme.
- Me: Seventeen on the move silently.
GM: You're a breeze.
James: I'm only hitting thirteen.
GM: You're a clunky breeze.
- Me: I listen for mimes.
GM (rolling dice): You hear one.
Quotes, 24 January
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