I whisper your name (ayradyss) wrote,
I whisper your name

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50 things that guys need to know (not my original list)

Okay...my source of this was Someone's Open Diary. Apparently she got it from somewhere else, all the way back to an old issue of Men's Health. Editorial comments, in italics, are my own. Additions (both to the list and the commentary) are welcome.

50 Things Guys Need to Know

  1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

  2. Real men drive stick shift.

  3. Well, or they want to learn but I won't give up my car
  4. I will leave if you lie.

  5. Unless there's a compelling reason - like you were planning something incredibly special and I had the bad grace to appear at the wrong time.
  6. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

  7. I thought I knew what raglan was...but now I'm confused.
  8. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

  9. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

  10. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

  11. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

  12. Most of the time.
  13. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

  14. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

  15. I expect you to call me.

  16. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

  17. That depends on the rock star, the pants, and the guy wearing them. Some guys I know look just delicious in them. You know who you are.
  18. I'm scared of losing my independence.

  19. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

  20. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

  21. (1) Who? (2) Forget the shoes.
  22. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

  23. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm...

    • </li>
    • ...having a fat day.

    • ...not feeling "connected" to you.

    • ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

    Cancel the third one. Because, frankly, I'm not going to suffer through not getting laid just to make you suffer.
  24. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

  25. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

  26. Correction: New Kids on the Block. With that picture of Joey in the hat with no top.
  27. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

  28. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

  29. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

  30. You should never tell me what to do.

  31. Unless I ask you to. And even then, try to do it as gently as possible.
  32. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast

  33. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

  34. Much.
  35. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

  36. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

  37. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

  38. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

  39. I want to be Madonna.

  40. Material-Girl era.
  41. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

  42. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

  43. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

  44. Especially holding a baby. Especially if it's in no way related to you.
  45. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

  46. And now.
  47. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

  48. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

  49. Because you are to me.
  50. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

  51. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

  52. Correction: unless the discussion is extremely relevant to the topic at hand, or I ask a bout it first.
  53. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

  54. "I love you" is always a good way to buy time to decide what you're thinking.
  55. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

  56. I love it when you're sweaty.

  57. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

  58. Please.
  59. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

  60. I like porn.

  61. Particularly lesbian porn.
  62. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

  63. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

  64. And less-nice girls like more of it.
  65. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

  66. If you feel the need to delete the log, there's something wrong.
    I understand the difference between IC and OOC.
  67. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

  68. I remember everything about our relationship.

  69. You should know all this and more without my telling you.


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