Instead, in no particular order: A six-year old with an overanxious mother and an asthma exacerbation (99% on room air: one duoneb, steroid burst, discharge home). A colicky month-old baby (complete physical exam demonstrates farting and improvement of colic: reassurance, discharge home). A teenager with a urinary tract infection (antibiotics, discharge home). A year-old with croup (vaponefrine, observe, discharge home). A teenager who picked up the wrong cat (betadine scrub, discussion regarding the last rabid cat in Indiana in 1984 and the much higher risk of Pasturella joint infection, Augmentin, discharge home, followup tomorrow). An elderly woman sent from the nursing home with diarrhea to rule out dehydration and with an elevated INR (can't work out what's wrong with her, argue with the hospitalist, call her primary care doctor and oncologist and admit). A very nice lady who woke up in the middle of the night with pancreatitis (argue with attending that she has GI problems and not cardiac disease, admit).
Seven patients. And it's holiday dinner morning, so at 3 AM I got chicken cordon bleu, green beans almondine, and cheesecake. Not bad money, tonight. Not bad at all. I think it's time for a nap before Dermatology.