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Dilemma. - Nobody wears a white coat any more...
...a tribute to becoming a doctor.
ayradyss
ayradyss
Dilemma.
Awaiting phone call from my med chief, to inform me what patients I will be rounding on tomorrow morning. My Angel will be going to a family Thanksgiving instead.

Hit a dog on the way home tonight - the car is fine, but I did clip the dog in the midst of slamming on my brakes at 60 MPH. He ran out in front of me, from a shadowed ditch, with no warning. I heard that soft sickening thump of flesh yielding to physics, and it flew across the inside lane and into the median. I pulled the car over, shaking, sat there for a bit and went back.
He was still alive, still looking up at me, bright eyes watching me. A medium-large dog, probably 80 pounds or so. Too big for me alone to feel comfortable approaching - a wounded animal is a dangerous thing - and definitely too big for me to bundle up and put into the car alone. It panted. I stared at it. It watched me, not whimpering, alert, seeming calm. I went back to my car, unsure what to do. I looked back. It was standing up. I went back to the dog. It had moved perhaps ten feet and was lying down again, still in the median. I walked up to the house that bordered the road.
Middle-aged couple, and granddaughter. Not their dog. Not anyone's dog around there, that they knew. There are a lot of wild dogs. He looked at me, dandling a five-month-old on his knee. "I'll go out and see how it's doing, later. If it's still there, if it's in bad shape I'll put it down and bury it." She looked at me - I think she saw the tears. "You did a good thing, coming to tell us. We'll take care of it."
Dusk fell while I was in the house, the smooth and sudden transition from grey twilight to dark. I had to walk past where it was, to get to the car, but across two lanes and in the dark there was only a black form on a green-black field. From where I was, I couldn't see if it was watching me.
It got up, it moved, it walked. I was going at least 45 when I hit it. They said they'd see to it. What should I have done?

now feeling:: worried wounded

11 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word
Comments
zecular From: zecular Date: November 19th, 2005 12:17 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
My sweet vita-marie, I'm so sorry.

You did do the only right thing that could have been done.
missysedai From: missysedai Date: November 19th, 2005 01:10 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
Ah, this broke my heart, that someone didn't love their wuppy enough to tag him and keep him safe.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. I think you did all you reasonably could do.
From: wildcelticrose Date: November 19th, 2005 01:48 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
You went back. That's more than most people do.

You did the right thing.

~L
kamikazekumori From: kamikazekumori Date: November 19th, 2005 01:50 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
*hugs* you did everything you could, and wouded animals aren't safe to handle unless you've been trained to do so. most people would have just kept on going. <3
pwwka From: pwwka Date: November 19th, 2005 02:13 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
My first thought would have been for the SPCA, but it sounds like you were in the middle of nowhere when you hit that dog-- and they probably would have put it down, anyway. Lucky you were in Indiana, where people talk to each other-- I'm so glad that family was there to help you through that. It must have been hard, Cat. Don't worry too very much... there really was nothing more you could do. I'm sure that family did the right thing, whatever it was.

I know that you did.
culfinriel From: culfinriel Date: November 19th, 2005 02:43 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
You care and you went back. That speaks volumes about you, good volumes.
kesil From: kesil Date: November 19th, 2005 03:26 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
Did the right thing! By the way, have I met you? I realized I don't know your name, or what you look like, and so may have met you several times already without knowing. Which would be very strange!
ayradyss From: ayradyss Date: November 19th, 2005 10:33 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
You know, I don't -think- I've met you yet :) But it's Nykki Boersma, and I haven't got a recent picture unless you hit the residency website :)
kesil From: kesil Date: November 19th, 2005 01:31 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)
Luckily, I believe I'm assigned to you for a pediatrics week (?), so we'll certainly run into each other!
leon03 From: leon03 Date: November 19th, 2005 05:40 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
Hugs. I hit a puppy once on the Ply-Goshen trail. I was speeding a little bit, it jumped out in front of the car and started barking at it. I stopped and talked briefly with a conservative mennonite woman who said that the puppy was a stray that showed up this morning and didn't seem too concerned about it. As I left, I saw the puppy still quivering in the road. I sorta half wonder if the puppy had been dumped and he was barking at my car because he thought his owner was coming back for him.

I had much the same reaction as you, I understand completely :)
compxlicated From: compxlicated Date: November 20th, 2005 02:18 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
you have a good heart by doing that, that was the best thing you could do, i hope everything is okay now.
11 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word