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Last night I said I hated this month. - Nobody wears a white coat any more... — LiveJournal
...a tribute to becoming a doctor.
Last night I said I hated this month.
I hate this month. I'll lay it right there, O Best Beloved, I hate this month. I hate Q3 call where I'm in-house for 24 hours and most of the time spending 22 of those 24 hours running. I hate the uncertainty and I hate the fear that comes with being tired and unsure. I have the nicest doctor in the whole world for a proctor today, and I hope that I will prove to him that I am not incompetent. Perhaps that will take away some of the fatigue.

It wears on you, Q3 does. It eats slowly away at your reserves, and no matter how much sleep you get it isn't enough and yet it's too much; the days are gone and glittering away before they begin. This is Monday. It will be nothing, sleep, no more. Tuesday will be in clinic. Wednesday will be spent here. Thursday will disappear into the ether. Friday is my day off. Saturday here, Sunday gone, Monday clinic, Tuesday here, Wednesday as soon as I leave I'm going to Kansas City. And that's it. At least next month will be easier.

Two vag deliveries, one circ, and an adrenaline rush when we realized just how preeclamptic the patient I was admitting really was. I need to sleep now, or I would tell you about it. My reserves are running low.

now feeling:: exhausted exhausted

3 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word
From: clypheous Date: July 18th, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)

By the way, when you say "here" you mean at the hospital right?

I hope this month goes quickly for you, I know how stressful that kind of shift must be. I still don't understand the logic of making you guys work shifts like that but maybe they know something I don't.
From: dr_bobbie Date: July 19th, 2005 01:23 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
I find it hard to think optimistically. I'm not Q3, and OB isn't until October, but service medicine has made me wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

Nine days to go. Next month has got to be better than this.

ayradyss From: ayradyss Date: July 19th, 2005 12:25 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)
"From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more."
-Luke 12:48
3 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word