I whisper your name (ayradyss) wrote,
I whisper your name

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Time and tide


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Somewhere inside you lies true evil. Darkness radiates through you like water flows through the great lakes. Choose wisely in all your life decisions , we all have means to change our path.
Darkness. I feel like Aerial now. How charming is that? Of course, if there are only two alternatives...

It's a little strange coming home to an apartment that is (1) empty and (2) warm. And quiet. So quiet. It's not unwelcome...but it is strange.
Come home, sit down, check LiveJournal, check MOO's, discover that Angel's had a spare minute to log on from work, yay! Check mail. This is my idea of pretending I'm doing something. Discover that I'm someone else's friend suddenly on LJ and try to figure out who in heck it is...not that not knowing has ever prevented me from adding someone else as a friend (It's scary - I don't remember who half of the people on my friends list are, only that I must roleplay with them somewhere.

At one point in my life, the idea of letting random strangers read my journal would have compelled me to make sure that it was interesting, that all of the bad and sad and angry parts were cut out. And I would have wanted to find a way to block my friends from reading it at all, for fear they'd discover too much about me. Names are power. Knowledge is power. And if I'm not good and right and clean, then Bad Things will happen.

It's been a long time since I felt that way. It's been a long time, but I remember those feelings, those words, as if they had never left. But they did.
Maybe I err on the side of egotism now, thinking that anyone wants to read this. Maybe I would be as well-suited to call these words out from the rooftop into the empty and unseeing night. Maybe all that's true. But maybe it isn't. And in the end, those who aren't interested don't have to see. I'll claim the right of egotism in my own mind.
E-mail is all spam, as ever. I get the mail noise as I'm typing, and then realise it's the same "how to stop spam" email I got in my other two Hotmail accounts. Which, unbeknownst to Microsoft, are set up to catch spam. Particularly all the pornographic spam that appears mysteriously after I visit pages profferring free stuff to my e-mail address.

Microwave's beeped. Mini raviolis, yum. I'm so glad I'm feeling better. But now...now I think it's time to migrate over to the couch and the books (and the laptop-with-wireless) to study.
Kudos: Angel did the dishwasher for me this morning. I asked him to put away the clothes and empty and refill the dishwasher before he went to work. I expected he might get the clothes done. He got it all done. What a wonderful man.

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