I whisper your name (ayradyss) wrote,
I whisper your name
ayradyss

  • Mood:

Regarding this morning's Nicaragua entry...

I spoke to my OB preceptor today, detailed the situation with the baby. He stares at me. "Is this a true story?" I nod. He frowns slightly. "Sounds like someone just wants more money. Best thing to do for a baby is get it out." I didn't delve into the sociopolitical climate under which the story happened, and why money was most likely not forthcoming. But he shakes his head. "No reason to section her, not with a drive like that. Just break her water and deliver the damn thing."

Doctors we.

13 January

Home sick. I curled into bed at 11 last night, then proceeded to cough until something like 2 AM. When I got up, still hacking and spitting, J told me to take the day off. E checked my peak flows, and I wound up taking a hit off an inhaler before popping a Claritin and going to sleep in the hammock for half the day and reading, half-dizzy from heat, for the other half.

When I came into the common room, S was there, gesticulating. “They’re slaughtering a cow out there!” and they were, as those of us who went running to find out saw. It was an impromptu anatomy lesson and a spectacle all rolled into one. They skinned it, gutted it, took it to pieces. We watched, avoided the children playing with a severed tail, took pictures. Again, the refrain: los gringos! And we are, strange and foreign, with our English and our cameras and our money. Gringos.

I tried tonight, played a round of spoons, lanced a boil on a toe, hung around and listened to the music on the portico. And I am now lonely, staring into a star-filled distance. R lurches by me, looking tired, but I have been paralyzed by fear tonight. I am an intrusion. All illusions are gone.

Sitting here on the hammock alone, one foot dangling, watching unfamiliar stars through a gap in the trees, drinking rum and precious precious Coke is not the way to improve my mood. No-one here will care for the silent companionship I need.

Subscribe

  • On the Road...

    We'll be heading out on Saturday for a month-long mission trip to Papua New Guinea. Committed to trying to blog daily while there - will be sharing…

  • Drive-By posting: Miriam

    In case anyone is wondering what my daughter is up to these days, here she is! In other news, today was an ER day from hell, and I'm going to bed…

  • (no subject)

    Sauntered in at 0730 with the intention of meeting fellowship director, who gives a lie to the old-dogs-new-tricks mantra, for a little chat about…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 2 comments