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Illegitimi non carborundum... - Nobody wears a white coat any more...
...a tribute to becoming a doctor.
ayradyss
ayradyss
Illegitimi non carborundum...
...I don't know how many times I've used that phrase on others, Alik. Thank you.
The outpouring of support and encouragement from you, O Best Beloved, really meant something. Being alone in $other_end_of_the_state and trying to control my emotions, I needed it. Now I've driven six hours home, I've slept, and I've seen my Angel. And the first thing he said when he saw the gift basket that was delivered to me in my hotel room was "Wow, that's a nice basket. Better than that cardboard box that $residency sent you." "That cardboard box" had been a winter gift basket full of cute little goodies, delivered to my home, and fairly nice. And I laughed.
I'm still hurting and a little empty and afraid. I still get a little sniffly. But when the doctor who wrote the review - a doctor I know from previous rotations, whom I did not see on this rotation - returns from his vacation, I think I can go to him without sounding like a hysterical child. And that's important. Because if there were one or two people on my rotation who didn't like me and earned me a poisoned review, then that's one thing. It colours but doesn't strike out $residency as an option. And I need to know. Selling a house we've only owned for 2 years, a house that had been on the market for a full year before we bought it, is a major undertaking, one not to be undertaken lightly.
Besides, we're getting a new washer and dryer delivered tomorrow. A spiffy Whirlpool front-loader. And you'd better believe I feel good about that.

Today, I think I'm going to try to relax for a while. Then get some work done. My car is a mess. There's laundry to do. The family room needs picked up. Lots of productivity, right?

now feeling:: calm better

4 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word
Comments
daimones From: daimones Date: December 9th, 2004 03:27 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)
I suck at being productive. :)

I also want you to stay here but I'm selfish.
pwwka From: pwwka Date: December 9th, 2004 07:20 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)
So, are you quoting General Stillwell, or Barry Goldwater? Tim and I were quite confused when "carborundum" didn't appear in the Latin dictionary. Surprise, it wasn't Latin! So we looked it up... hehe. Educationalish and stuff. :)
ayradyss From: ayradyss Date: December 9th, 2004 07:28 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)
I actually picked it up originally in Handmaid's Tale, where it's "Nolite te bastardes carborundurum" :)
serennig From: serennig Date: December 10th, 2004 01:05 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)
Hi, journal lurker here.

Good for you. That's the best attitude, I think, to have in response to an unexpected evaluation like that. I, on the other hand, had to really fight the tears when I faced my clinical supervisor and later my clerkship coordinator when I got one bizarre and seemingly random eval. It wasn't as scathing as that one you got... but it sounds so DIFFERENT from your other ones, and from your perception of yourself, that there's got to be a problem here.

Would it be worth it to stay if it meant potentially working, as a co-resident, with someone who would be so heartless and catty, though?
4 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word