I whisper your name (ayradyss) wrote,
I whisper your name

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A step on the staircase...

I dreamed, and it has been long and long since I have dreamed so.  I am clearing the nightmare from my brain still, and not pausing overlong on its meaning, if any. 

The setting was my old house, the one in which I grew up, somehow transformed by an abundance of ordinary trinkets.  And I was there and staircase_wit was there and for some reason he confessed to me that he was threatened by the trinkets and knicknacks and trappings of life.  And I told him that if he could tell me why things bothered him that I would ssee them removed, so as to see to his comfort.  His comfort was very important, for some reason, and the idea of simply having him meet in a neutral place did not ioccur.  And he agreed, and he seemed pleased by the agreement.  And he told me to go to bed (it was late) and that he would see what he could do.

And I came down in the morning and I saw the living room covered in white labels.  On the figurines, on the plants, on the piano, every object in the room had a white label with black markered writing, a neat block print, and a reason.  I remember only a few: the piano, on the keyboard - "nonsensical sounds"; on the lid: "bang head here".  On the plants"  "try to strangle me".  And I followed a trail or white labels and I began to see little splotches of blood as the writing became more childish, and then I saw streaks and splashes of blood, as icf someone had made cuts iwth a knife and I ran upstairs to find him in the bathroom and the side of his chest where his heart should have been was all missing and full of blood.  And he was holding a butter knife, and the mirror was broken in the kitchen.
And I said "Kaiden, what happened?"  And he said "Too much feeling" and I said "How do you--"  and I stopped myself, I think, before asking "how do you teel" and it became "how much blood did you lose? Do you think you can stand?"  And I called 911.
And instead of taking the pertinent information the lady didn't ask for my address.  I explained that my friend had taken a knife to himself and that he needed an ambulance and she tried to convince me to take him in my car.  And then she began a grocery list of "do you have in the house" and that was when Kaiden suddenly began trying to kill me.  I don't know why.  I knwo I screamed my address into the phone and dropped it and ran across the street.  I know I came back even though I knew he was going to kill someone, anyone, he could, and I came back because he was talking to a little girl on a bicycle.  My knees were badly damaged from falling to get away from him, and he told me - he madethe girl disappear and he told me to say that I had fallen from -my- bike - and then he made her come back and I told her that.  His chest was healed or a new shirt was over it or something, and he told her the blood was red play-doh, and asked her to play with it with him, and I screamed "no" and he was after me again.
He tried to strangle me or cut me to bits with the butter knife or something - I don't know how he was trying to kill me; I only know I wasn't strong enough to fight him off until someone else hit him with a stick.  And he turned and dragged the passer-by back into the house. and the part of the dream that frightened me the most was that I knew he was taking the man back into the house to kill him and yet I could not move.

I am awake now, and pouring out my thoughts in verbal diarrhea, and I am not quite sure what it all means because although the first time I met him I was intimidated by Kaiden a bit I trust the man.
I need more sleep.  I will have to try.

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