I whisper your name (ayradyss) wrote,
I whisper your name

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"No, no, do it like this..."

There is another medical student on my service now.  I have begun, already, to feel clumsy and incompetent.  She has such grace, and I have only a dogged desire not to get in the way but still to learn.  And I forget easily.  So very easily, sometimes.  She is tall and lovely and thin and she knows when to move and when to hold things and I do not and I never will.  I am a poor assistant, O Best Beloved; I get distracted and I forget to let go of the suture and I do not have the scissors quite ready (head of the screw goes up, not down) and I have to be called back to reality as I watch things that are in another field.
But it is my last week of the two with this group doing OB, and so when we had a woman come in at 2 centimeters, 70% effaced at 12:50, I was the one who Dr. P said could do the delivery.  Two hours later after her epidural, she was 8-9 cm and 95% effaced. I felt it, the cervical measurements, under the tutelage of a nurse who looks young and is older than my mother, who has been checking cervixes (cervices?) for thirty years.  And then we pushed.
My resident, M, has been in the hospital since 0700 on Sunday.  At 1500 on Monday, she was understandably a bit short.  She preferred to show me rather than correct me.  But it worked, and I got to do most of the pulling and the wriggling of the baby out of its warm haven and I suctioned at delivery and she clamped the cord (why? I don't know) and I delivered the placenta and got blood everywhere. 
Eight pounds, seven ounces.  Girl.  First-degree laceration only.  M repaired it.  That makes four babies now, and this one particularly cute.

Today, I feel almost like a doctor.

I am also entertaining the thought of signing up for NaNoWriMo, but I am not certain.  Any opinions?
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