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So it wasn't such a little nap. - Nobody wears a white coat any more... — LiveJournal
...a tribute to becoming a doctor.
ayradyss
ayradyss
So it wasn't such a little nap.
Angel woke me up two hours later to tell me to just go to sleep. So I did, and I've had like 10 hours and I feel pretty good, thanks.

It's morning, a little before 6 AM, and Angel is coming down for the afternoon. He was maybe going to bring me company but it looks like no, that unexpected company popped in for a visit this weekend at home instead and the original plans fell through.
Too bad. It would've been fun.

I got to talk a little bit with people last night before my nap, people I've missed talking to. Everything in everyone else's life is a nightmare tangle of emotions and attachments and miscommunication. And I can't do anything about it, because they're all locked in their own paradigms. Love isn't supposed to hurt like this. And it hurts me to know how much pain there is, but it hurts me so much more to know that there's pain and people aren't talking. Because I want to be a healer...and I believe that part of my Purpose is to heal...but I feel like I'm staring at a seeded infection, walled off in some kind of abscess of misery. And I want to shake people sometimes, because there seems to be this underlying refusal to change. They keep doing the things that hurt them. They keep following the paths that wound them. They keep closing their eyes.
And I've done it. I've been there. Someone shook me.

On a lesser note, Q, even if you forget to ask if it's a bad time, it's only polite to mention when you're going to have people over for a weekend, seeing as how other people in the house need to make plans as well, and it's good to know if we're going to have guests. And when were you planning on mentioning that Lisa's going to visit in the beginning of March?

now feeling:: awake awake

8 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word
Comments
loonyatcbh From: loonyatcbh Date: February 21st, 2004 06:29 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
You know my handles; do I know all yours? I'd love to talk to you when you're on; maybe I belong on that list of people doing dumb things. I'd love to change, I'm just not sure what change is right and needed and what would be dumber than where I'm at now...
ayradyss From: ayradyss Date: February 21st, 2004 07:19 am (UTC) (etched in stone)

Re:

ICQ - 18962828, AIM - Sekkyro, MSN whisper_your_name@hotmail or in_nomine_deo@hotmail

I'd like to talk to you. I'd like to hear how things are going.
loonyatcbh From: loonyatcbh Date: February 21st, 2004 12:05 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)

Re:

Better. The one dumb miscommunication that was especially bothering me was cleared up. Other stuff bothers me considerably less.
I've been online for too many hours. Time to go make soup!
arazia From: arazia Date: February 21st, 2004 06:45 am (UTC) (etched in stone)
Erf. Again, I appologise Nykki. I should have double checked and made sure Quinby had cleared me comming this weekend with you. I made an assumption that she did, and we all know what assumptions do. In any case.. sorry. *sigh*
ayradyss From: ayradyss Date: February 21st, 2004 07:25 am (UTC) (etched in stone)

Re:

You don't need to apologize, Zia - Quin's an adult, she shouldn't need people double-checking everything she does.
We like you, you're house-trained and everything! Don't feel guilty for visiting, especially not since you get to admire my new couches :)
From: clypheous Date: February 21st, 2004 10:24 am (UTC) (etched in stone)

Re:

Yes. We must all admire the new couches...

Oy.
quinby From: quinby Date: February 21st, 2004 05:47 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)
*sighs* I'm sorry. I think I need to sit down and just talk sometime. I freak out, get scared for no reason at all... and yeah. I'm sorry. I dont' mean to be rude, I don't mean to be a pain. I'm just used to being scared to say/do anything. I know I shouldn't. But then again, I'm just making excuses that I shouldn't. Yeah. Lisa's coming the 4th-9th. I'm picking her up at about 8:30 or so in Indy. I hope it's ok. *sighs again.* I'm sorry, I really need to open up. It's harder than it should be, really. Next time you're home, if you have some time, I'd like to just sit down and talk. I think I need to just open up and... yeah. I'm sorry. I dont' mean to be all closed and a pain, and yeah. Feel free to kick me in the arse. I think I deserve it.
ayradyss From: ayradyss Date: February 21st, 2004 06:47 pm (UTC) (etched in stone)

Re:

I love you, hon. And I don't expect you to be perfect. (I'm not mad. A little disappointed, but not mad.) Lisa talked to me, and I talked to Matt, and it's fine.

I'll be home next Saturday for the entire month of March, almost. :)
8 whispers echo . o O ( ... ) O o . whisper a word