November 25th, 2005

White Coat

Clean sweep.

Came in today to an empty board. M's family withdrew support yesterday; he died quickly after that. R nodded at me; I saw his eyes. My patient was not the only one to die on his watch. I am glad he was there.

Today have been observed by our Friendly Behavioral Science faculty; she watches our patient interactions. She tells me I am good with patients, good with staff, good with attendings. I am respectful and I listen and I do not flail quite too much. That is good. I think I am disorganized and wild and thoughtless and I do not know anything. Can we both be right?
Three admissions, one I&D (whee, procedure!), one gentleman with a troponin of 12, and a lady who might be septic or might just be hard to figure out. Fervent prayers that tonight is a rare and lovely night where I do not spend my wee hours in the ICU or the ED, where I can sleep. Sometimes, it happens. I want to see my family tomorrow.