June 16th, 2005

Nescafe rabbit

See, I bring the finished score!

O, Best Beloved, I have not forgotten you.
I am losing track of time in this in-between, this almost-over. It is mondaytuesdaywednesday never now tomorrow and yesterday, all confused together. One day is much like the last is exactly the next; the only difference whether my Angel is there to keep it moving or not.
I must find and learn my PALS book and pretest. I must go to the residency and sign a paper. I must find an extra thousand dollars for the bamboo, which was quoted to us as $2700 and now is going to cost just over $4000, and I must not forget to be productive.
It is hard. I think I have forgotten all of my medical training in two months. I wish I knew the rotation I would be on, so I could feel like I needed to study for it. I am terrified of clinic.

But, O Best Beloved, there has been a boy lounging around our house who is familiar to me and it was somewhat comforting to have him here. I had almost forgotten the sweetness of his scent, boy-flavoured, the subtle heat of his nearness. He is a boy I adore, and he knows that, I have told him and it has once upon a time been trouble and trauma.
He is one of the people whose fibers run through me, make me who and what I am. And I love him because he will always be part of me, in that fundamental steel that twines my mind. And it was hard to see him go, knowing that there has never been much to say.

We have decided to wait on the bamboo. Right now, when I am not being paid, it is too much money and we have too much debt. It will wait. I think that means the piano should come into the house before the humidity ruins it. Opinions?
Consolidated my loans - or at least submitted the application for consolidation. That means I have only two sources for loan money and one has an in-residency deferment. That is one weight off my mind.

Signed my paper and had my employee physical and random drug test. I am not afraid of random drug tests. I was a little afraid of employee physicals, but it was painless, and I don't have to have my TB test redone. I also got to see the new laptops and Dell Axims we will be getting on the 22nd, and I can't wait to play with new toys.

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Nescafe rabbit

Open season on interpretations: autumn coming

You were me, 
cinnamon tumbles
			crescent delights
	 moonday sunday anyday any time
					you had words.

They are the yesterday whispers
		dreams found and buried
				uncovered and recalled
	piled in sandboxes
	 		leaves blown away
	 	caught and crumbled, dust.

And sometimes you
		in the borderline maybe
			will be
	can be me.