July 6th, 2004

Nescafe rabbit

Dear God:

USMLE Step 2: Clinical Knowledge. 8 blocks of 50 questions each, one hour maximum per block, one hour for lunch and breaks. Step 1 took me from 0810 to 1530. All the objective evidence (look at all the high passes and extremely good test scores I've gotten) suggests I know my stuff. But I'm terrified.

I've been here before.
I've studied. I've tried. I've finally, with a lot of work and a lot of prayer, got this concentration thing down.
Today is the exam that determines the direction of my life. I have to pass it to continue in school, to keep my scholarships from defaulting, to be allowed to work in the position I so desperately want.
I just have to pass.

I've studied, I have. I've tried. All I need now is a little bit of help.
Help me to remember the things I've worked so hard at learning. Help me not to lose my cool. Help me to dredge from the forgotten corners of my mind the facts that have enabled me to pass everything thus far.

And dear God...help me to make it through.

8:30 AM. IPFW, Kettler Hall. Confirmed. Bag packed. No notecards this time, just my review books in the bag for lunchtime scanning.
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam, for the greater glory of God.
  • Current Mood
    scared terrified
Nescafe rabbit

Thank God for the little things.

Thank you so much to everyone who sent me good wishes and love and encouragement. You're all wonderful. I'm home, O Best Beloved, and done with the exam. Actually, I got there at 0757, by the center clock, congenitally early for really important things that I am, and they let me start then.

At noon, I took an hour lunch break. I figured I'd accumulated an hour of extra break time anyway. I walked over to the branch campus building where I'd spent my first two years and made the rounds. Collapse ) An hour of telling people how great third year had been, and how I was headed for Ft. Wayne for residency, and showing off that I can do well despite barely passing the first two years.
I wondered, leaving, if I would have gone back if third year hadn't gone well.

Eight blocks. Forty-six questions each block, one hour per block. I did the first five in four hours and the last three in two and a half. I took an hour for lunch. I finished each block and couldn't remember the one before it, except vaguely. There were two easy blocks and two hard blocks and four in-between. The variation between easy and hard wasn't so much that I didn't know the answers as that the proportion of fifty-fifty answers was bigger.
I feel, overall, pretty good about it.

Got home, started to clean my study stuff up and realised that today was the due date for my paper from Radiology. So I wrote it and e-mailed it. Whoops. And now I can finally settle down to doing nothing but the things I want to do for a few days. I think I'll start by finding the floor in the bedroom. And then I'll bring a stack of notes and practise exam printouts to Firefest and bloody well burn them.

And I'm going to play World of Warcraft until my eyes fall out of my head.
  • Current Mood
    relieved relieved