April 16th, 2004

Nescafe rabbit

I put on a false and sparkling smile...

I put on a false and sparkling smile
for you, my love - for you, my love
I put on a smile and wear it
to cover the truth, my love - for you, my love...

I can't sleep on an air mattress, not well, not really, but I'd rather sleep some than not get to spend my night with Angel when he's here. So I took the air mattress. And I didn't sleep well, and I haven't slept enough in a week, and it was a nightmare night, and I woke up and chewed out someone who really didn't deserve it, all because I don't have spare time and I'm frustrated by my inability to pay attention to lectures.

And then I came in. And I had chai, and an oatmeal bar, and I put on my smile. And I saw my first patient, a 6-year-old doll with brown pigtails and baby teeth and a grin that made me smile back for real. She's going home today, just a 23-hour observation and out the door. Things looked up.
We worked out a plan with my other patient, whose too-young parents didn't expect to stay at the hospital at all, brought no money, and have been here two nights now. R left me in charge of it all with a co-signed order sheet to fill out and a phone number. I worked it all out, smiled for the nurses, smiled for the parents, talked fast and got permission to do the UGI if the video EEG isn't read too fast.

And then...things went downhill. You'll see. After lunch.