August 4th, 2003

Nescafe rabbit

I promise, Joe, I have no hard feelings toward you...

E-mailed J1 asking if I could crash at the place he's renting at. He talked it over with the owner of the house, J3, and J3 said fine. I was to contact D and find out if he wanted rent reimbursement, since D was supposed to pay through September. D said, in essence, no. Because he was having a dispute with J3.
So last night, J3 tells J1 that since D had communicated to him that he was not going to pay September rent, he expected me to pay $20 a day to stay here. And that J1 could be the one to tell me. It is important here to note that monthly rent for those staying in this place is $375. You do the math, O Best Beloved.
J1, understandably, was uncomfortable with the position he was placed in, and evidently concerned that I was going to be angry with him about it. I am, emphatically, not upset with J1; he couldn't contact me last night because of domain problems, and didn't get his e-mail back until I had left. He had no way to tell me of the impending situation. And it's not his fault anyway; things became a tangled web after he had thought it would all work out well.

J3 wanted me to sign off on a contract tonight. J1 explained that he didn't think the situation was fair to me. In fact, he did most of the arguing with J3 for me, a fact for which I am exceedingly grateful. This may surprise those of you who know my tendency to snarl and rail, but I am terrified of confrontation, especially with strangers. Having backup made it tolerable. Being able to offer - since J3 has this vested interest in renting the room - that I would call around and find another place to stay so he could rent it also helped. No contract signing took place. None will. I see why D told me I should watch out. It was most unnerving.

So I'm staying tonight, no problem, no furniture either. On the floor. It's a very nice floor; quite comfortable, in fact. But it's not worth $20 a night, not even with wireless 'net access. And tomorrow, I'll call Chris and Aura and beg to see if they have some spare space. And if that fails, I can always stay with Angel's grandma, who's a very sweet woman who keeps telling me I should come stay with her. But she doesn't have 'net access.

I miss my Angel, already. When I arrived, it was dark and the sky was covered in scudding clouds, traced by ribbons of driving lightning. It was silent, cool, the rain not-yet-come. Now the rain has come, and come despite the partly-opened window of my car (the seat is damp, no worse), come to wash the world and leave behind soft grit cold against my bare feet, come to send lightning flashing in its wake, the thunder once again silent. It rains like the tears I am still fighting not to shed. It is frustrating, this ever-shifting plan to find a place where I can stay and rest, enjoy myself as best I can in the aching loneliness of not-having, of missing my Angel. But it is not so bad. I have a roof over my head tonight. I have good friends I can call tomorrow. I have family, and love, and I am not alone.
So sleep deep and well, O Best Beloved, and think of me tomorrow, if you have a spare moment to send thoughts my way. I will make this work, somehow, one way or another. It is only a week and a half, after all.
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Nescafe rabbit

It's the tiny things...

Was reading friends page when I became aware of someone behind me. It was J1.
Brief conversation ensued. "Want a sleeping bag? I have an extra." I won't say no.
Later on, J2 came home. We chatted, and they concurred that J3 was being unreasonable. Furthermore, J2 informed me that he'd talked J3 down from $40 a night. To sleep in an empty room on the floor, he says. You can get a room at the Days' Inn for $26 a night, J1 says.
J2 tilts his head. "Do you want an air mattress?" He has a burn-victim waffle mattress, I'm welcome to use it. So now I have a sleeping bag, an air mattress, and am feeling much better about things. It's time to sleep, so I can get up in the morning and go to orientation.

I love you and miss you, Angel.
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    touched touched

Well, that wasn't so bad...

I'm sitting in the student lounge of the medical science building, having successfully connected Shain to the wireless network. Bless the inspiration that made me decide I should set up the VPN connection before coming down; all I had to do was set my DHCP to auto and login to the VPN. Nice and fast, deliciously so.
Mentioned to Mike this morning that I needed a place to stay, and that I was looking to call my friends. "You can stay with me." He has a pull-out couch in the living room, apparently, and if I need the space I'll be welcome. Took his cell number, said I'd call later. Hoping to get hold of LC and Aura, as I prefer their company, but it feels really good to know that I can stay there if I need to.

Orientation this morning was quick, easy, and gentle. Got my schedule for the next few days. Looked at it and realised that I was scheduled to work 8 AM to 10 PM in the Urgent Care Clinic on Friday. E-mailed Carol. I am now working 8 AM to 4:30 PM, and spending tomorrow evening at the clinic instead. Much better.
Schedule is as follows:
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It's going to work out. It'll be all right. I'll figure this out somehow. However, my unhealthy lunch is giving me a headache from too much caffeine.
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