June 7th, 2003

Nescafe rabbit

Tell me why...

Tell me why the stars do shine,
Tell me why the ivy twines,
Tell me why the skies so blue,
And I will tell you just why I love you.

Because God made the stars to shine;
Because God made the ivy twine.
Because God made the skies so blue;
Because God made you, that's why I love you.

I leave tomorrow afternoon, one or two at the latest, to go down to Indy. This time, I don't get company. I get to drive down myself (why can we not find the godsdamned minidisc player? I just want one fucking thing to take with me...) and spend a couple of nights with the S's. Am not pleased.
I don't sleep well out of his arms, I don't dream well away from him. I want the comfort and the security and the love that being near him gives me. And the prospect of being alone is...well, getting me down quickly. I've been everything from surly to downright avoidant this evening, even to the lengths of not going to see him even though he's in the next room. All because I won't get to be with him. It's such ass-backward logic.
Monday: orientation to third year. Tuesday: Intersession. Dress is casual. Which means wear slacks.
I don't understand this; I'm bristling with the desire to be left alone and almost crying because he's not trying to cuddle me. I'd say I'm PMS'ing but I don't think I am, not yet. I don't start the little green period-herald pills until tomorrow, in any case.
And I can't think and I can't feel and I just want to know where the minidisc player is. I'm obsessing over it, and yet too apathetic to tear the house down. Augh.
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