April 3rd, 2003

Nescafe rabbit

I loved you yesterday...

David: James is near. I can always tell, because my butt tingles.

I'm tired, world. Tired of being an invalid, of being invalid, of having to have someone else drive, carry boxes, and do all the work I want to do. I'm tired of having to stretch my arm to the point of pain - the point I know I should be avoiding if I want to heal - to fasten my own pants. I'm tired, O Best Beloved, of typing with one hand and the other being useless to me. I'm tired of looking around and seing a bunch of things that need to be done and being unable ti do any of them.
I'm tired of the constant pain. More tired of the silence and the aloneness that is most of the day, since nobody gets up before noon. Tired of the strangenes that has overwhelmed me. Where has the world gone, in shadow and silver?

Talked morality with D this morning. Got to thinking how far I've strayed from what I want, how easy it is to not care, how easy to just slide along. This week isn't much of a break, O Best Beloved. Not much of a break from my thoughts. Being so handicapped...I hate feling useless.
  • Current Music
    Mexican Hat Trick - Woody Herman