March 26th, 2003

Nescafe rabbit

To a lady...

I keep starting to say it, and then I don't. I don't know if I'm thinking better or worse of it. Hard to say; maybe it's just my fear that I shouldn't say anything at all that keeps me silent. But I keep starting to say it. I should finish what I start.
I may not agree with you, with the choices you make. I may get frustrated with you, and when I am, I'll say it. And I'll tell you why and what I think of what's going on, and because every time I try to soften my tone it becomes not gentler but more painful, I'll tell you without trying to be sweet and tactful about it.
That was the way it was in a simpler time, in high school, with the girl who was my best friend then, and I have never known a more supportive and strong relationship than the one I had then - because if I was being a bitch, she would tell me so, when nobody else could hear. And then she'd stand up for me anyway, everywhere anyone could see.
And I will. Never doubt that I love you, that I will back you up and stand up for you even if I believe you are making the worst mistake of your life - an occurrence that has yet to happen, despite the turmoil. And all the same, do not doubt that I will tell you if I disagree.
I think there was more, but the words seem halting and filled with meaningless repetition after that. I think it is enough.
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