December 24th, 2002

Nescafe rabbit

At the end of the day...

Opened up my e-mail this evening, once I got my computer back from Mark (I'm so glad I have a laptop too...) to find a message from Dr. Koritnik. Subject: Pharm Score
And in a sudden surge of terror I stared at it for a long moment before clicking on the title to read it.
Outstanding performance on the shelf exam !!!!!! You had a raw score of 74, which was the 75th percentile and the equivalent of an 88 on my test scale. Way to go out with a flair ! I am really impressed with your effort on this one. Have a happy holiday and a well deserved rest !
I cannot even begin to tell you how that makes me feel. It...There are no words for the sudden suspension of a barely-noticeable tension in the back of one's mind. There are no words for that subtle, complete release. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was certain that I had failed that final shelf exam after working so hard. Somewhere deep in my heart I knew that I was destined to flunk out of medical school.
Ha, self-doubt and fear. Fuck you, anxiety and insecurity. I passed. I passed everything. I can do this.

Semester grades:
Pathology - Pass
Pharmacology - Pass
Medicine - High Pass (to be modified by next semester)
Genetics - High Pass
Biostatistics - Honours Pass

God damn, but that feels good. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow's Christmas.
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