November 19th, 2002

Nescafe rabbit

And then to bed....and then to bed.

Love to everyone tonight. Because...well, because I love you all. I've seen so much support, such an outpouring of concern and thoughtfulness from you...and it's enough. It's enough to keep me going, to remind me why I want to do this, to renew my strength.

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary, his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

You're all angels. Every last one of you. Thanks so much.
Nescafe rabbit

Stream of consciousness

"God" is my angel, logging in from work.

Vita> God...when you get in the shower...can you try not to take the outer curtain in with you? :)
God (THP) hmms... Ok. Although I didn't think I had been. ;)
Vita> Every morning when I go to take my shower, the corner is tucked into the tub :)
God (THP)> And every morning when I get in the shower its tucked in too. And I pull it out.
Apparently the house has gremlins. Or nisseman, which is more likely.

Long day today. Medicine class is meeting in the afternoon again. Ethics, from 1 to 4. Mrph. I'd rather be working on my studying than listening to another lecture, how sad is that?

Path lab exam score: 77%. Not as well as I'd wanted, but above passing. Good enough, considering my state of burnt-out-ness when I took the blasted thing. A few pages to go before I have all the pharm notes done for the exam Friday. Think tonight...tonight I'm going to organise the antibiotics (Viva la Revolution!)...

From a review from the Step 1 Medical Boards review book:
Reviewer: A reader from UCSF San Francisco CA
Sorry to say it but med school and residencies are all about the numbers. Yeah we like to talk about personal skills and the importance of dr-patient relationships and such, but in the end if you don't got a 240 then forget about radiology and if you can't get a 250 then forget about ortho and if you can post a 260 then plastics isn't for you, you will just have to be content making 90K a year as a pediatrician.
So if you to just be a pediatrician or internist then go ahead and study for step 1 with First Aid. Just remember that every other uptight med student is memorizing it also. If you want to get into a competitive residency (ie if you want to be making the Benjamins once you are done) then you better not use this book as a primary review. You will be smoked by the competition.
Peace Out!

I went into medical school to help people.
I went into medical school because I want to heal.
I went into medical school to serve, to uplift, to inspire.
I want to be a doctor because doctors make a difference, because doctors are people who are respected - not for their wealth and their power, but for their achievements, because doctors make people well.
I am not working my ass off "for the benjamins". I am content to make a "mere 90K a year". Hell...I'm content to make half that - all I want is enough to support my family.
It's assholes like that reviewer who have given doctors such a bad name - who have tainted this profession with cynicism and coldness - who have built a wall between physician and patient so high that the only bridge to be seen is one of lawsuits and hostility - whose relentless pursuit of their green-paper gods, their Mercedes-Benzes, their expensive habits and surrealistic vacations when and wherever they want has blighted their healing and ours. It's assholes like that reviewer who have helped to drive malpractise insurance costs so high that in Las Vegas, premiums as high as $200,000 per year drove every orthopedic surgeon in town out of business. In Texas, there are 101 counties with no obstetrician at all (out of 254), probably more by now. 8.1 percent of the nearly a thousand babies born in Texas each day have received little to no prenatal care. Because OB/Gyn practicioners have some of the highest malpractise insurance rates of all. Because patients don't know how to communicate their anger, their fear, their frustration to a doctor whose so-called colleagues have helped to create a golden pedestal and surround it with a wall of distance. Because it's all about the benjamins. Because nobody wants to just be a pediatrician. Or just be an internist. God forbid that the focus of medicine should be healing. God forbid we should live up to the Hippocratic oath...

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Dear Mr. Reader from UCSF San Francisco CA:
Fuck you. Get out of my profession.
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