October 28th, 2002

Nescafe rabbit

Pre-examination blues...

Eeee.....
Half an hour to the lab exam. My mind is suddenly blank. Gah. What if I can't tell the lupus slide from the diabetic renal glomerulosclerosis slide? What if he gives us a wide-field on lupus or crescentric glomerulonephritis? I wouldn't know them from a hole in the wall....
I hate the fucking kidney.


I do, I do, I do. Kidneys are evil. Wicked and evil and horrible.
We have diabetic glomerulosclerosis, which is where all the little glomeruli have this diffuse thickeining, only some of them have little nodules - which is how you know it's diabetes, because only diabetics get nodular glomerulosclerosis (say that three times fast!) which, just to be confusing is also Kimmelsteil-Wilson's diseases.
And then we have chronic pyelonephritis (nephr- means it's in the kidney), and that one has "thyroidisation of the tubules" which means that they look like little bits of thyroid, or googly eyes in my opinion, with bright pink stuff in the kidney tubules. Can't miss that. Thank heavens.
And then there's the one with the spleen and two kidneys that has arteriolar disease, which has little vessels (if I can find a bedamned vessel) that show a little bit of thickening relative to normal (which I don't get to see), and I hope to high heavens that he puts that one down on one of the proliferating vessels that look like little onion rings and tapes it there.
And then there's the one with amyloidosis of the kidney, which means that there's deposits of pink stuff all over the place. It's supposed to be in the glomeruli (which makes it look like diabetic glomerulosclerosis, so it's good that we have an atypical slide).
And then acute glomerulonephritis, which is identifiable because the stain is really light...plus, in theory, the glomeruli are hypercellular.
And lupus, which looks like diabetic glomerulosclerosis until you see a wire-loop *please god let him put it on a wire loop because I can't find the fucking things*
And crescentric glomerulonephritis, which I can usually find a crescentric thickening if I know I should find one...but the way I panic when confronted with a kidney, who knows?
And chronic glomerulonephritis...little knots of fibrous tissue in lieu of glomeruli. That one's almost as easy as chronic pyelonephritis.

I rest my case. Kidneys are evil and wicked.
And so help me...if he gives us the unstained cryptococcus slide I'm going to die.

Exams. I hate exams.
  • Current Music
    Tick. Tick. Tick.
Nescafe rabbit

Post-exam notes...

Okay. Part 1: 20 Kodachrome slides. Best analogy: brutal gang-rape. Dear gods.
I skimmed over the pictures in the book, got a good idea of what they were. I should have gone over the immunology packet more thoroughly last night. I knew most of the AIDS questions, but when it came to asking what the particular antibody was that was associated with Sjogren's syndrome and rheumatoid arthritis...Aww, hell.
And fucking Dr. Kim fucking well told us there would be no questions on metals until the fucking final. And then put a 6-point matching question on metal deficiencies and syndromes. We should try to get that thrown out.
Nuclear changes with radiation damage. Vitamin-A associated eye changes (whoops, should've gone over that even though there weren't any pictures about it). What disease state or disease state precursor can be treated by administration of the factor whose deficiency can cause this disease state? Or something like that. I couldn't even understand the question, and by the time I did I had to turn in my paper so I couldn't think about it.

Part 2: glass slides and a few more Kodachromes. 16 stations.
He didn't fix the lupus slide on a wire-loop, but it was okay, because all of the questions on that station were about lupus, so it was clear that that's what the slide was. Used four other kidney slides, including a very nice crescentric glomerulonephritis with a lot of questions about Wegener's and Goodpasture's. Both things I know well. And the 11 criteria for lupus diagnoses, 1 point each, which the entire class can say backwards and forwards.
Forgot fucking membranous glomerulonephritis in SLE-associated kidney changes. I knew there was one that started with an M. Ah, well.
But after ten stations of agony, I remembered that there are anti-peroxidase antibodies in Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Go me.

Honest to god, y'all. If you ever wondered what medical students talk about, you should've been in the room when Dr. Smith was half a frellin' hour late for the exam. "Scott, are you feeling some unusual anxiety?" "No, Ryan, I think you're just projecting your anxiety on me." "Where's Dr. Smith?" "I don't know, but you're definitely inciting some countertransference here with your attitude." "Well fine, you can just -take- your reaction formation and sit by yourself. I'm going to go get the moves on with Ivana here..." And so on. It became a contest to see how many times we could use terms from our last psych exam in context.

We'll take any excuse to prove that we know something. Particularly when facing an exam.
Mental note: give my outlines from MedGen to Ivana so she can feel better about the final Friday.

One more down.

Good news!

Exam scores from psychiatry are in. 92%. I'm honours-passing in Psych and MedGen!

Mind, this isn't as exciting as if I were frelling passing Pathology, or doing more than hanging on in Pharm, but it'll get there. It freakin' well will have to.
More good news:

Blusys says that I shouldn't have trouble getting into the Fort Wayne Family Practise residency. Good. *crosses fingers* I don't want to go to Indy. I want my life to work like it always has, where things just fall into place.

In any case, I'm going home. I'm hungry.
  • Current Music
    Silence. I need to go home.
Nescafe rabbit

For your delectation:

The realistic Internet Simulator : http://www.b3ta.com/realistic-internet-simulator/
The Scandinavian Singing Horse choir - click their mouths to make them sing. http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf
Some animated optical illusions, really quite interesting. http://www-bcs.mit.edu/gaz/gaz-teaching/index.html
Kittens! Really scary animated kittens! http://www.rathergood.com
Okay, be warned that it's not all animated kittens, and some of it is scary.

And that'll do for now, because I'm done pulling part 1 of my DVD rip of LotR off of the CD so that it plays properly and doesn't give me funny lags when the pretty scenes with lots of action are goin on. Mmmmm....lord of the rings. I can't wait until the special ed. DVD set comes out so I can have my very own.
Mind you, I may be J.R.R. Tolkein's panting lap-dog, and I might have the hots for Legolas so bad (my god, in real life he has dark hair and a mohawk, and it's so sad!) but I'm not going to buy the movie twice. Yet.
Although, between Frodo, Aragorn, and Legolas, I might just have to eventually. The more, the better. *drools*

Now, as I drag myself out of my fangirl frenzy, I'm doing my best to not feel guilty about taking the night off and not studying. I've been so stressed of late that I know my concentration has been suffering. And that's not good for me learning anything. So the day off, watching LotR and the yumminess that lies therein.
It is...precious to me...
  • Current Music
    The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring - 1 of 2
Nescafe rabbit

About poetry

This is the latest. Like I said, I don't know if I -like- it.
O Jezebel
          my mirrored child
      Your shadowed eyes
                     remember:
The summer's gone
        When days were wild
     This autumn chill
                        will break them

Bend down and rest
          your weary head
                  These days are cold,
      this autumn,
                     And dreams are dull,
Their meaning fled
           And comfort bring
                             no longer

You stand and wait
               For winter's chill
        Don't fear the storm
                             that threatens
    I'll meet you there
on frozen hill
                 And glory there
          together

    My Jezebel,
             of gold and green
       Don't fear the cold
                      and shadow
the dark will pass
          to summer's gleam
   And we will love
              forever

"Jez", 25-10-02
  • Current Music
    The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring - 1 of 2