Seems the 34-week gastroschisis baby we knew was probably going to deliver sometime today decided that now was a good time. Mom went from 5 cm and contracting to spontaneous breakage of her water to delivered in approximately 5 minutes. We heard that her water had broken, followed by "We need delivery help and the NICU stat." and ran down there. I ran into the room to hear "Baby's delivered. 05:13." And the baby was lying on the bed, with the first-year intern trying to suction the meconium from its mouth. NICU came tearing in like a house on fire, bitching and moaning because we hadn't called them, grabbed the kid and bagged and intubated her. Mom's crying on the bed. "I tried not to, I tried..." as if she's just peed on the floor or something, and the nurses are trying to reassure her that it's okay, these things happen sometimes.
I cleared out and went back to my patient, where all I had to do was listen to this 17-year-old girl on her third baby (previous two deliveries without an epidural) whimper and cry because it hurts... No sympathy, but I faked it pretty well. Around 5:15 AM, she was fully dilated and we tried some pushes. And then I ran for the phone to call Dr. D. And then we gowned and gloved and I grabbed the suction and handed it to him to clear out the baby's head, which had practically fallen out onto the bed. And he clamped and cut the nuchal cord, and then he looked at me, and I delivered Jayden. 7 pounds, 14 ounces of boy. It was very fast, but took too damn long to get to that point, so I've actually gotten very little sleep.
And now I have to go to staff rounds instead of lectures. Hope I get out early, O Best Beloved. I'm exhausted.