I wasn't scheduled for surgery today; we only had a few to pick from, complicated by the 0700-0800 workshop on nutrition (thank you, Dr. E, for making us all feel like total dumbasses and then picking up the pieces) and the 0815-0930 mandatory Paediatric Surgery lesson (thank you, K, for being interesting enough that I only slept through 10 slides or so). We finished rounds and went our merry way before conferences, but as two of the three Interesting Surgeries were scheduled for 0730, we were pretty much SOL. Dr. C, in afternoon rounds: "That was a beautiful transanal pull-through. Why did nobody show?" Because we were busy. Bugger it all.
Went to lectures, obviously, and then called over to see about exorcising my pager. You see, on Sunday night it began to do Strange Things. All of my messages were garbled random characters, and it would randomly die and come back to life, announcing its Miraculous Resurrection with a loud beeping noise. This will not do. When I got paged for rounds on Monday and couldn't read the message as it was overlaid with the previous day's football scores, I e-mailed MN, who is the computer guru for the school. The series of exchanges follows here:
Subject: I know this isn't your department...
...but you're always so helpful!
I can't find the pager information sheet and my pager is apparently possessed of some manner of demon. It desperately needs repaired. Who and where do I take it to?
From: MNSo I was quite pleased. And then today I got this message:
Subject: RE: I know this isn't your department...
JK oversees pagers in our department, but I believe he will direct you to Telecommunications. There telephone number is 555-1234. JK can give you their room number. I know they are located in another hospital on the first floor, but don't know the room number.
From: Angel's little sister CoriThat completely cracked me up. Between the pager spirits and the mis-mailing to Cori, it was just too funny.
To: JK, Me
Subject: Re: PAGER EXORCISM
Um, I think you might be trying to e-mail my sister in law. :) Because my name's Cori, her name's nykki (hey nykki, by the way!) and I don't
have a pager--but I added her e-mail to this reply so hopefully she will now know all about who to ask to cleanse her pager!
(Great being the only two our last name's on all of my school's campuses!)
Nykki - I hear your pager is possessed. The lady who can perform an exorcism on the mean little devil is K (used to be KK, but just got married and I can't remember her new name)
Room number and telephone
If it is truly possessed, she will issue you a new one if she can't clean it up Ghostbuster-style. (I hear she took the official course and
is certified) :-)
In summary, I got the name and number of the person I needed to call with my pager problems. And I dialed her up.
Her: Hi, Telecommunications, this is K.
Me: Hi. My name is nykki and I'm a third-year student. My pager has apparently been posessed by some manner of malevolent pager spirit, and I need to have it removed.
Her (laughing): I think I can do that. I'm in other hospital.
Me: I'm in my hospital. Not too far.
Her: Great. She gives me directions to her office.
I walk my pager over to her. I explain once more that it has been possessed of a malevolent pager spirit, and she grins. "Is it giving you gobbledygook?" Yes. Yes, it is. Apparently, they do that sometimes. Now I have a new pager, and it (1) does not fall out of its holder every time I move my pants, (2) has a spiffy GUI instead of a text interface, (3) doesn't have the cool ringtone I was using, which is okay because it's always on vibrate, which might be why (4) I can't find the stupid thing.
So I took a 20-minute break or so from my duties on the way back from the other hospital to check e-mail and generally get my mind in gear. Went back to the hospital with the express intention of checking the white board for a work-in operation that I could scrub in on in the afternoon (work-ins almost invariably are afternoon operations), rounding on all four of my patients, writing their notes, finishing that work by 11:45 (it was now 10:45 or so) and then settling down in the mythical Heart Center conference room for some Quality Time with my chapter on paediatric surgery until the work-ins were ready to go. Efficient work, efficient scheduling. It was going to have been great.
Got into the OR to check the board and get my clipboard, and saw "Emergent - laparotomy and possible partial bowel resection" on the board, and a handful of my residents standing nearby. When did it come in? Just now. May I scrub in? Please.
I got to hold retractors, help hold the small intestines as we pulled them all out of B's colon and went searching through them for an obstruction, and then about halfway through closing the skin incision Dr. L put down the needle holder. "Come finish this up." Me? "Come over here and finish closing." Yes, sir! M walked me through my very first set of dermal border running sutures, and we closed the wound up nice and tight. Then I wrote the op note.
And there went my afternoon - it was 1:30 before I got out of surgery, and then Dr. C paged us for rounds at 2:00. I wrote my notes for the kids as we were rounding (yay for clipboards) and ran ahead to do physicals before the team got there. I sucked in rounds today because of it - not prepared to present my kids, not ready to grab the charts and put them back as Dr. C held out his hand to give them to us, and having to admit that I hadn't gone in to do a PE on the little girl with the pyloromyotomy as her mother was a scary woman who didn't want anyone - and especially not more than just one person - near her nervous little child. He said "Don't worry about that," and gave me the findings for my PE.
And then it was 1600 and we were done with rounds. Go home. What? See you guys later. A whole hour of extra time, which means that now at 1900 I have taken a long hot shower, had dinner, and am ready to set down and write my Iatrogenesis article to e-mail in. 500-700 words, she says. My last LJ entry was 595. That's a short article.
Tomorrow: Rounds at 0530. M&M at 0700. Grand Rounds at 0800. That makes for a short morning, as most of my rounding time has disappeared. Surgery scheduled tomorrow: CVL placement at 1445. I'll get out of rounds, as the patient is one I'm covering and we're required to be there for our patients. So tomorrow, notes and exams at 0900, followed by some chart review and organizing time, followed by Quality Time with my book. I think I might go to bed a little early, I'm already tired.
But first, I've put this article off long enough.