I whisper your name (ayradyss) wrote,
I whisper your name

  • Mood:

Stop my mind, please. I want to get off.

Quinby's parents called last night. They wanted to talk to me. Did they ever want to talk to me. And I did my best to be patient and understanding and listening and reasonable, and it was all going quite well - if exhausting - right up until the topic of my absences to Indy came up. They're not comfortable or happy with the situation. And they're specifically not comfortable or happy with two things:
1) They're concerned because their understanding is that I'm the one who has the deep emotional relationship with her. And so I'm going to be gone, and with this, that, and the other...they're afraid she'll be alone when she needs me. This is no different than it would be if I were here. I'm going to be working long hours through the winter, and those long hours make things crazy. And I think...I think, for once, that their concerns are overamped.
2) The appearance of things. Angel, who's 23, home alone night after night with Quin, 20. And he's a youth director, and what will our youth's parents think? They're certain that their church would never allow it. They don't want her to spend her life thinking that these kinds of situations are all right.
I understand the appearance issue. And at midnight, all I could say was "let me think on it and we'll see what we can do," because they have a valid point. And it's a valid concern. And I don't want Angel to get in shit for this, and I want Quin's parents to be able to accept and come to peace with it. And I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.

And this morning after the alarm went off I laid there and didn't sleep for half an hour, thinking. Trying to think. Trying to decide, to figure out what to say or do or be. My mind is stuck in circles, and I can't make it stop.

And dear God: You've never let me down, never given me a problem that I couldn't find the solution to. And I believe - I really do - that what we're doing is what we're supposed to do. So I guess, now, it's up to you. Give us the inspiration to find a key to this problem and help us do things according to your will. Because it's never let me down this far.

[Edit: I'm so bloody upset I forgot how old Angel was. How frickin' awful is that?]
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