Previously recorded quotes:
- Me (during a discussion of pap smears): There was this chick with labia that were this big...
Phloxin: Eww, meat curtains! - I tell a story about a wine labelled "Fanny," and discussion ensues of the picture of a little boy kissing a little girls ass.
Phloxin: In the US that would be considered pornography.
Lily: But in France it’s art. - Jorath is being carried by paladin of the lady due to having a Str of 0 after a trap; "flaccid gnome" and "lymph gnome" jokes abound
- Lily: Half elf - Half wookie?
- Dash: I'm missing some porn gene. Uh. Humor gene. And no. I don't want the mushrooms.
- Dash: Banging, footstools. It's all the same.
- Phloxin: I have a 16 charisma.
Mike: That'll do.
Phloxin: I'm wearing brown leather.
Mike: That'll do.
Phloxin: Get out of my face, dog boy! - Me: Your monkey is a Betty Ford reject!
- Phloxin: I ran with the crack smoking monkey. It's the monkey on her back!
- Phloxin: He hides in the folds of reality.
Me: I thought you were going to say underwear. - Erica: You people are way too involved with my monkey's ass.
- Phloxin: What's a Thoqa?
Lily: What is that, swearing in pig latin? - Me: It was a tragic accident involving a knitting needle and a double throw where I should have dropped a stitch.
- Dash: Your appreciation is all I desire.
Phloxin: Your piece of ass is all I desire. - Erica: What would you do with a hung over crack monkey?
- Me: I need to learn medical spanish.
Heather: Yes, like, "Did you puncture an artery?" - Dash: There's not much you can do with Minime.
Me: There's not much Minime to do. - Angel: She would be my twin, but I'm covered in gore.
Mike: A marked improvement.
Tonight's quotes:
- Me: Eye rays. As opposed to You rays.
ZoaS: Not J rays, or K rays? - Mike: At three hit points, isn't (a beholder kin for a familiar) more liability than it's worth?
- Dash: I can safely say my anaconda don't want none.
- David: It's all orange outside...
- Kaiden: No rabbits!
David: Evil rabbits! - ZoaS (on a discussion of Baby Got Back): No, it's "Oh...my god." You have to get the pause in there.
- ZoaS: I'm disturbed because he's over there squealing like a girl.
Phloxin: I do everything like a girl.
ZoaS: Oh, is that so? Is that what the strap-on was for? - Dash: No, you bopped me on the nose with it. You don't get it back.
- Jo: Ah, touché!
Tiff: That was my tushé... - Dash: Your brains are uneven.
- Me: And we might be accosted by screaming mobs of rampant developmentees...
Dash: I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, being a developmentee. - Phloxin: I do not volunteer my anal cavity.
Zia: Often. - Dash (as Jo wants to lie on his lap): I accommodate multiple people.
- Angel: Spell penetration is another that will help you get through spell resistance. (Someone belches.) Belch is not.
- Me: Apparently, in Milwaukee, being gay is an ethnicity.
- Me: No, you should see James in full-flaming mode.
Kaiden: What, is he some kind of superhero? - David (to me, sitting on Jo): Get off my player!
Jo: I'm not your player.
Me: She's your player's accessory.
David: Get off my accessory! - Phloxin: When Mage Hand isn't enough.
Mike: Enlarge and Grease. - Mike: A rod of vibrating?
- Me: My cat will eat anything.
Mike: Maybe I'd've had better luck with the cat.
Phloxin: A piece of pussy!
Mike: I have a Charisma of 6; I'll take any pussy I can get. - Tiff: Bracers of armour...
Phloxin: So you can be like Wonder Woman! - Me: She looks like her last haircut was done with a bowl and a knife.
Phloxin: Oh, gods, it's Joan of Arc.
ZoaS: Joan of Elf. - Tiff: I've got Charm Monster...
ZoaS: I don't think that would work on a dragon.
GM: If it failed its spell resistance...and its save...
ZoaS: You amuse me, little elf one... - Phloxin: My girl would...stand out a bit.
Mike: Is it cold in here? - Me: Was she one of my austere monkish characters?
Mike: I don't know. You were too busy killing undead.
Me: And being surly.
GM: And drowning.
Mike: Yes, there was the drowning... - GM: Last I checked, dragons don't eat grain.
Me: Shows what you know.
ZoaS: It's the vegan dragon. - Me: It's not so much "veiled sexual tension" as it is "established barbed-wire fence."
- Mike: Damn, everyone looks hot.
Me: Even the halfling's about the right height... - Me: I think we might have a problem.
Mike: What's that, darling?
Me: Caves. Wizards. Supposedly dead wizards. Allegedly dead wizards.
Mike: No good wizard—
Me: —would submit to being dead so easily, exactly. - David: Wow, there's a really skanky ugly dwarf here.
- GM: You all already have rooms at the inn.
Me: Two rooms.
Mike: Unfortunately.
Me: With no connecting door.
Mike: Unfortunately.
Me: I was most precise with the innkeeper.
Mike: Unfortunately. - Mike: I saved your life.
Me: I'm grateful, but that doesn't obligate me to sleep with you.
Mike: What if I save it again?
Me: You have another nine times before I'll consider it.
Mike: Nine. I'll remember that. - Dash (traumatised): I made cheese goop.
- Me: The last I checked, my moral imperative didn't include sheep.
Mike: Or men, for that matter. - ZoaS: This just seems a little too easy.
Me: It's always too easy.
Mike: Don't I wish. - Dash: That's not very Christmasy. That's like the undead Christmas Tree.
- GM (to Mike, with a 6 Chr): You're very pretty.
Me: Oh, gods, it's an ugly-fag dragon. - Mike (to me): You can try and save the halfling.
Me: Don't look at me, I can't swim.
Mike: Don't I know it. - Tiff: Can my lizard swim?
Mike: Yes, that's it, throw the electric beastie in the water. - ZoaS: I keep staring at those socks. There's something captivating about them.
Phloxin: They're hypno-socks. - GM: You're chaotic good. While there are certain things you personally won't do, if others fudge the rules a bit, as long as you lecture them later...
ZoaS: Isn't that Apathetic Good? - ZoaS: Tell me, do you disrobe your food before you cook it?
Everyone stares. - GM: Are you going to leave, or do I need to give you impetus to leave?
Mike: Is that a threat?
GM: No, but this is. The dragon breathes. - GM: You are justified in beheading it.
Me: I can't behead it, I have a rapier.
GM: You could perforate it...
Me: I could make a little dotted line for someone to tear along on coupon Wednesdays... - ZoaS: You feel like the time your shocker lizard jumped into the tub with you.
- Me: "Get out of the way." As if you weren't already doing just that.
- GM: You take...four points of damage from the wing-buffet.
Eric (drag queen-style): Ow, that hurts!
Me: Do it again! - ZoaS: We've got the scantily-clad Elven snake charmer now.
- GM: What are you doing?
Phloxin: Stabbing it with my crystal poker.
GM: Are you going to tie it to a chair? - Phloxin comes into the room, using a foam noodle to simulate an elephant's trunk, blowing through it.
GM: Right. And on that note, the dragon's going to attack you. - Mike: I'm going to stand right over here.
Me: So he can wait and hope that she falls down and he can save her life and mark off another tick on his counter.
Mike: Precisely. Even if I have to hit you with a magic missile. - Me (rolling damage): Six. Four. Five. Six.
GM: Twenty-one.
Me: Plus twenty.
GM (stares): What?
Me: Plus five for each hit. So plus twenty.
GM: Well, crap. - Me: That sort of attitude is something that one should foster. I'll let them live.
GM: What? Abject terror?
Me: Apathy is also good. - ZoaS: So it's like Jesus Christ the vampire hunter?
Me: More or less. - Me: I have a long history of playing clerics of Dalune with quirks.
Phloxin: Quirks, nothing. They're fucking bats. - ZoaS: I attack the rubble!
- ZoaS: I attempt to intimidate the rubble.
GM: You give it a stern look. It is unmoved. - Mike: Nothing like watching a woman break a sweat.
ZoaS: He's worrying me. - GM: Now they're two piles of burnt rotting vegetation.
Me: Oh, gods, I bet that stinks. - Me: Two hits.
Mike: You make salad.
GM: Rotting salad.
Phloxin: A slaad! - Phloxin: Are you going to do something useful or just look at the tapestries?
- Phloxin: Yay, I made the vegetable scream.
- Me: Now I'm unconscious.
Mike: Good. - Tiff: So the one she's lying with is the one that's almost dead?
Me: I am not lying with the plant. I am lying in the plant! - David: At least you didn't get smacked in the face with a pickled were-weasel...
- David: My toe now has racing stripes. Fascinating.
- Dash: We want your muscles, not your weasel.
- David: I'm kind of rounded everywhere.
- Me: What is with this (making the limp-wristed gesture)? Is it some kind of ancient gay tradition?
GM: It's the secret handshake.
Phloxin: And then some. - Dash: Mennonites in the morning?
Me: That's why they're menno-nites. - Me: I may look like a boy, but I've got an 18 Charisma. Everybody wants me.
ZoaS: Including the Pope.
