- Me: Three bints and something on a dog show up.
Jefe: All I can think is 'What? Lesbian circus?"
- Jefe: He has a ponytail of bright copper hair down his back.
Phloxin: What colour is the rest of his hair?
Jefe (bewilderedly): Bright copper.
Me: No, it is not an extension.
Phloxin: Girl, ju need to take thet back to Kay-Mart!
- Jefe: My robes had a colour, but you took that away.
- Phloxin: I say something smarmy and unpleasant under my breath.
- Me: Do you know what the paediatric dose of a magic mushroom is?
Angel: One. Haven't you ever played Mario?
- Lily: Do you know anything that would help them? (Them being a bunch of plague-ridden children)
Angel: I pull out a handful of mushrooms. "Help them how?"
- Me: You find nothing suspicious.
Angel: Except the party.
- Phloxin: Several dogs with crossbows just shot the hell out of me.
Angel: Don't look at me. I haven't spiked her water in days.
- Angel: And we have frozen phalluses.
- Me: So we have Suné backed into a corner in terror.
Eric: More like a groundhog.
James (excitedly): I can speak with burrowing animals!
- James: Somebody put sand in my cum!
- Phloxin (flipping through a second-edition Monstrous): I forgot how cute their elemental pictures were. "Look at me, look at me! Grr!
- Jefe: Kobold...looks like Splinter gone wrong.
- Jefe: Splinter's like a level-18 nink-muncher...err...ninkja...fuck!
Phloxin (in a Splinter voice): You make a funny! Ha! Ha!
- Me: What actually happened?
Jefe: I think the gnome has just been flunk.
Phloxin (excitedly): Gnome Flinger!
- Jefe: The monk will not evade. I attempt to catch the gnome.
- Jefe: When you're sitting there with the rope, looking like you're going to whack off or something...
- Phloxin: I relate this in my own way...we play Charades.
Me: Sounds like...cunt.
Phloxin: Sydane! Sydane!
Angel: You want to go back in the hole, don't you?
- Phloxin: Mind flayer...looks like something from a Shriners convention.
Angel: Augh, Shriners with tentacles! It's a hentai Shriner...
Phloxin: I knew there was something wrong with them.
- Angel: I roll a bong into the room, wait an hour, and then throw one pack of Pop-Tarts just in front of the door.
- Me: I crit Bri. (rolling) Two damage.
Angel: He critted you in the kneecap.
- Me: Eric is the second letter of Jeff's name, so he doesn't get a turn.
- Angel: You've been shot, fallen down the hole, and generally beaten up on.
Phloxin: And now I've been infected with some bloody disease, but we don't know that yet.
Lily: You're Rasputin!
- Jefe: A little lesbian moment.
- Me: Specially made for prisons: gnome on a rope.
- Jefe: I will give them a confused, reassuring smile.
- Me: Your sister's on the ground again. A zombie slammed her.
Angel: I didn't think she was that desperate.
- Angel: What's back there?
Me: Oh, some dire weasels, some rats...
Phloxin: Eww, they're not buggering the weasels again...
I suppose this one makes more sense if you were there for the one-night RP where I actually did run the party into a group of drunken kobolds buggering giant weasels. It's sort of been a theme now.
- Jefe (On Phloxin throwing a book at him): Ow!
Phloxin: I'm sorry!
Jefe: That's OK. You didn't know I had an ingrown toe (A long pause ensues) nail.
Me: Jeff has a vagina on his foot!
Jefe: Foot Fetish!
- Me: Does anyone remember what I named the lord of this town?
Everyone: Slut, Whore, Pimp . .etc.
Phloxin: I'm sure it was something gay.
Me: No, that was the lord of the other town!
- Angel: What is the Spanish plague?
- Bri (swallowing and holding up a finger): Okay, now you can say something funny.
- Phloxin (singing): My beholder has a first name...it's R-A-L-P-H...
Me (singing): My beholder has a second name...it's N-A-D-E-R...
- Me (much later, singing) My beholder . . Dang it!
New and improved! Quotes for all...
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