- Jefe (a.k.a. Editorial comments) claims that he is an inexperienced virgin quote taker. Go kind on him.
- Me: You've cleaned the fireplaces with your tongue. You're sure of it! (Jefe: How could you forget it?)
- Angel: I'm tattooed out to my yin-yang.
Me: The question remains: Where is your yin-yang...
- Lily: I don't want healthy popcorn. I want popcorn that will kill me.
- Angel: Potions.
- Me: The magical one is 150gp.
Phloxin: You're going to mark it up?
- Me: Jot this one down. Spanish Nut is one of yours.
- Angel: What time of day is it?
Me: Kind of fuzzy.
- Angel: Do I have Spanish nut in the back?
Me: I need dice.
Phloxin: You have Rodrigo...
- Me: You're going to use it (a love potion) on your sister?!
Angel: To threaten her. You see, I'm secretly in the employ of Penthouse...
- Phloxin: I think it went down the right tube.
Me: That was the daughter by the way.
- Angel: Is the town really this dense?! They’re identical fucking twins!
- Angel: The skanky version of Cinderella.
(Jefe: Do we -want- to know?)
- Me: Cunt. Bitch. Whore.
Jefe: Ah, sisterly love.
- Angel (showing something): Do you know what this is?
Me: My God, it's Lupe!
Phloxin: Poor Rodrigo...
- Zia: I don't have to grunt. I have intelligence!
- Me: You only came into town to get some fruit.
Zia: Mm. Fruit.
- Me: Nothing like a peach with teeth.
- Lily: Gives a whole new meaning to the word ripe.
- Zia: Yes that is a banana in my pocket and I am happy to see you. TAKE IT!
- Me: Pussies so fresh you can smell them on the screen.
Phloxin: (horrified) That's not fresh! ...
Zia: I'm still thinking of a Cantonese restaurant with cats strung up on the entrance.
- Me: The only way you wouldn't get laid here is if you were gay.
Phloxin: What a fucking shame.
- Me: Hey baby, want your damage controlled...
- Lily: My character is not a lesbian!
Me: What, you just have a platonic soft spot for little drow girls?
- Me: She has a visible aura to you.
Lily (à la Robin Williams): A clue...
- Me: Is anyone going to do anything cute?
Phloxin: I'm going to murder those two twats in their sleep.
- Lily: Ignore the char marks.
- Me: Glowbutton wanders out.
Phloxin: The auras clash.
- Lily: What is my name...Thalesis.
Much hilarity ensues about erectile dysfunction.
Lily: FINE! I'm changing my name. Drucilla.
Phloxin: Now known as the character formerly known as Penis.
- Me: Lord Alexi Traven.
Phloxin: And you say all *my* characters are gay.
- Zia: Are you going to predict the future from the corn kernels?
Me (à la Robin Williams, Louisiana-psychic style): You gonna die!
- Zia: I'm finding the nearest tree and climbing it.
Me: For a minute I thought you were going to say peeing on it.
Zia: Don't think I wouldn't...
- Lily: Hey look. Improved trip.
Phloxin: Does that mean you get more kick out of your pot?
- Me: You need Pegasus boots before you can knock rangers out of trees.
- Zia: The rangers are under the tree munching nuts.
Angel: Whose the lucky man?
- Angel: We're not like Laura Croft.
Phloxin: More like Elizabeth Hurley.
- Me: The GM just dropped the popcorn bowl on her head.
Zia: What sort of illegal drugs are you on and can I have some?
- Me (sung, desperately): Monkey. Monkey loves me.
- Zia: I hit dogshit.
Me: It stinks.
- Angel: I have an imminent orc.
- Phloxin: AAH AAAH AAAH!
Me: What type of aah is that?
Phloxin: Motherfuck, mothermothermotherfuck...
- Lily: I need something to snuggle.
Me: The monkey loves you.
- Phloxin: I'm going to nail the one that nailed her ass.
- Me: It's charisma for the paladins. You do 3, heal one.
- Me: PUSSY!
Jefe: I was just going to say that.
- Lily: Ahem. We're going to do the 'healing' touch.
- Lily: I'll give you back 4 hit points.
Angel: Wow. You're cute.
- Me: Let's make it simple. Each bag is marked with a DNA coil.
Jefe: A T&A coil?
- Angel: Is there anything else weird?
Jefe: They're not wearing underwear, what else do you want?
Me: One has Chlamydia.
Angel: I don't want to check that close!
- Me: It's fagalicious! (Phloxin stares.) I'm getting the 'I'm not authorized' look.
- Me: In the meantime would you like to enjoy the hospitality of a grateful town.
Zia: Mmm. Grain.
(Jefe: Never underestimate the pulling power of grain.)
- Me: They have force of presence that makes you say, "Wow, he's a dog, but I think I'll bend over anyway."
- Me: The monkey is all twisted.
Angel: Well, whose fault is that?
Jefe: That would be me...
Angel: It's bondage monkey!
- Me: A round room with two sarcophagi in the middle...
Phloxin: What about sarcophagals?
- Phloxin: I pull it out and beat your stinkin' elven ass with it...
Me: Run that by me again?
Angel: I pull it out and beat your stinkin' Elvis ass...
- Lily: I'm thinking if you beat me over the head with a flaming stick, I'd notice you were trying to kill me.
- Zia: Can we save the game first so we can restart when we all die?
- Phloxin: I make DC 23 on my tumble and back the fuck up check...
- Zia: I'm going to go inspect the archways, for lack of anything smarter to do...
- Angel: I pull on the wall.
Me: How are you getting a grip on it?
Angel: Hey, if Link can do it...
- Phloxin: I can't extract my gummis from my can.
Angel: You put them in the can...
- Phloxin: Oh, holy fucking shit!
Angel: You should watch your mouth if you want to get out of here...
- Jefe: I got the mutant fucking gummi bear...
- Angel: She's my sister. Hence why I left home.
- Jefe: Why's it (the computer) beeping at me?
Zia: You probably pissed off the X-Men again. (Note: Phloxin's computer has X-men sounds)
- Angel: I'm brewing up a potion to give to Bruno.
Phloxin: A potion of bull's strength?
Me: A potion of bull's shit - oh, wait...there's no apostrophe...
- Phloxin (singing): My torso....my torso...
Angel (chiming in): My torso and me!
- Me: How many Hit Points are you all at?
Phloxin: 2 of 8.
Lily: 3 of 11. I feel like a Borg.
- Me: The rebel-free hallway...
Angel: No, rubble-free. We like our rebels.
- Me: Ready for this? You see a door.
- Phloxin: Turn it!
Angel: Into what?
- Zia: Let's go gang-bang the ghoul...
- Phloxin: What do we do with the bodies?
Angel: Leave them. I don't collect them. What do you think I am - some kind of sicko?
Phloxin: Never stopped you before.
- Angel: The Force is not with us this evening.
Quotes, 30 May...
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