I whisper your name (ayradyss) wrote,
I whisper your name
ayradyss

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Quotes, 30 May...

For an opening session, it went quite well. Exceedingly well, I think, although the simple riddle that took forever is a classic. Characters are admirably at each others' throats without causing outright war. Must finish sorting out RP guide to Herbs so that Herbalist proficiency no longer becomes a "do I have anything" gamestopper. But that's a topic for another day. Right now...it's 4:!5 AM.
  • Jefe (a.k.a. Editorial comments) claims that he is an inexperienced virgin quote taker. Go kind on him.

  • Me: You've cleaned the fireplaces with your tongue. You're sure of it! (Jefe: How could you forget it?)

  • Angel: I'm tattooed out to my yin-yang.
    Me: The question remains: Where is your yin-yang...

  • Lily: I don't want healthy popcorn. I want popcorn that will kill me.

  • Angel: Potions.
    Lily: Ow!

  • Me: The magical one is 150gp.
    Phloxin: You're going to mark it up?
    Angel: 5000gp...

  • Me: Jot this one down. Spanish Nut is one of yours.

  • Angel: What time of day is it?
    Me: Kind of fuzzy.

  • Angel: Do I have Spanish nut in the back?
    Me: I need dice.
    Phloxin: You have Rodrigo...

  • Me: You're going to use it (a love potion) on your sister?!
    Angel: To threaten her. You see, I'm secretly in the employ of Penthouse...

  • Phloxin: I think it went down the right tube.
    Me: That was the daughter by the way.

  • Angel: Is the town really this dense?! They’re identical fucking twins!

  • Angel: The skanky version of Cinderella.
    (Jefe: Do we -want- to know?)

  • Me: Cunt. Bitch. Whore.
    Jefe: Ah, sisterly love.

  • Angel (showing something): Do you know what this is?
    Me: My God, it's Lupe!
    Phloxin: Poor Rodrigo...

  • Zia: I don't have to grunt. I have intelligence!

  • Me: You only came into town to get some fruit.
    Zia: Mm. Fruit.

  • Me: Nothing like a peach with teeth.

  • Lily: Gives a whole new meaning to the word ripe.

  • Zia: Yes that is a banana in my pocket and I am happy to see you. TAKE IT!

  • Me: Pussies so fresh you can smell them on the screen.
    Phloxin: (horrified) That's not fresh! ...
    Zia: I'm still thinking of a Cantonese restaurant with cats strung up on the entrance.

  • Me: The only way you wouldn't get laid here is if you were gay.
    Phloxin: What a fucking shame.

  • Me: Hey baby, want your damage controlled...

  • Lily: My character is not a lesbian!
    Me: What, you just have a platonic soft spot for little drow girls?

  • Me: She has a visible aura to you.
    Lily (à la Robin Williams): A clue...

  • Me: Is anyone going to do anything cute?
    Phloxin: I'm going to murder those two twats in their sleep.

  • Lily: Ignore the char marks.

  • Me: Glowbutton wanders out.
    Phloxin: The auras clash.

  • Lily: What is my name...Thalesis.
    Phloxin: Phallus'?
    Much hilarity ensues about erectile dysfunction.
    Lily: FINE! I'm changing my name. Drucilla.
    Phloxin: Now known as the character formerly known as Penis.

  • Me: Lord Alexi Traven.
    Phloxin: And you say all *my* characters are gay.

  • Zia: Are you going to predict the future from the corn kernels?
    Me (à la Robin Williams, Louisiana-psychic style): You gonna die!

  • Zia: I'm finding the nearest tree and climbing it.
    Me: For a minute I thought you were going to say peeing on it.
    Zia: Don't think I wouldn't...

  • Lily: Hey look. Improved trip.
    Phloxin: Does that mean you get more kick out of your pot?

  • Me: You need Pegasus boots before you can knock rangers out of trees.

  • Zia: The rangers are under the tree munching nuts.
    Angel: Whose the lucky man?

  • Angel: We're not like Laura Croft.
    Phloxin: More like Elizabeth Hurley.

  • Me: The GM just dropped the popcorn bowl on her head.
    Zia: What sort of illegal drugs are you on and can I have some?

  • Me (sung, desperately): Monkey. Monkey loves me.

  • Zia: I hit dogshit.
    Me: It stinks.

  • Angel: I have an imminent orc.

  • Phloxin: AAH AAAH AAAH!
    Me: What type of aah is that?
    Phloxin: Motherfuck, mothermothermotherfuck...

  • Lily: I need something to snuggle.
    Me: The monkey loves you.

  • Phloxin: I'm going to nail the one that nailed her ass.

  • Me: It's charisma for the paladins. You do 3, heal one.

  • Me: PUSSY!
    Jefe: I was just going to say that.

  • Lily: Ahem. We're going to do the 'healing' touch.

  • Lily: I'll give you back 4 hit points.
    Angel: Wow. You're cute.

  • Me: Let's make it simple. Each bag is marked with a DNA coil.
    Jefe: A T&A coil?

  • Angel: Is there anything else weird?
    Jefe: They're not wearing underwear, what else do you want?
    Me: One has Chlamydia.
    Angel: I don't want to check that close!

  • Me: It's fagalicious! (Phloxin stares.) I'm getting the 'I'm not authorized' look.

  • Me: In the meantime would you like to enjoy the hospitality of a grateful town.
    Zia: Mmm. Grain.
    (Jefe: Never underestimate the pulling power of grain.)

  • Me: They have force of presence that makes you say, "Wow, he's a dog, but I think I'll bend over anyway."

  • Me: The monkey is all twisted.
    Angel: Well, whose fault is that?
    Jefe: That would be me...
    Angel: It's bondage monkey!

  • Me: A round room with two sarcophagi in the middle...
    Phloxin: What about sarcophagals?

  • Phloxin: I pull it out and beat your stinkin' elven ass with it...
    Me: Run that by me again?
    Angel: I pull it out and beat your stinkin' Elvis ass...

  • Lily: I'm thinking if you beat me over the head with a flaming stick, I'd notice you were trying to kill me.

  • Zia: Can we save the game first so we can restart when we all die?

  • Phloxin: I make DC 23 on my tumble and back the fuck up check...

  • Zia: I'm going to go inspect the archways, for lack of anything smarter to do...

  • Angel: I pull on the wall.
    Me: How are you getting a grip on it?
    Angel: Hey, if Link can do it...

  • Phloxin: I can't extract my gummis from my can.
    Angel: You put them in the can...

  • Phloxin: Oh, holy fucking shit!
    Angel: You should watch your mouth if you want to get out of here...

  • Jefe: I got the mutant fucking gummi bear...

  • Angel: She's my sister. Hence why I left home.

  • Jefe: Why's it (the computer) beeping at me?
    Zia: You probably pissed off the X-Men again. (Note: Phloxin's computer has X-men sounds)

  • Angel: I'm brewing up a potion to give to Bruno.
    Phloxin: A potion of bull's strength?
    Me: A potion of bull's shit - oh, wait...there's no apostrophe...

  • Phloxin (singing): My torso....my torso...
    Angel (chiming in): My torso and me!

  • Me: How many Hit Points are you all at?
    Phloxin: 2 of 8.
    Lily: 3 of 11. I feel like a Borg.

  • Me: The rebel-free hallway...
    Angel: No, rubble-free. We like our rebels.

  • Me: Ready for this? You see a door.

  • Phloxin: Turn it!
    Angel: Into what?

  • Zia: Let's go gang-bang the ghoul...

  • Phloxin: What do we do with the bodies?
    Angel: Leave them. I don't collect them. What do you think I am - some kind of sicko?
    Phloxin: Never stopped you before.

  • Angel: The Force is not with us this evening.
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