I whisper your name (ayradyss) wrote,
I whisper your name

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Went to Sam's yesterday. They had ant killer. Angel wouldn't let me buy it because "we don't need that much."
Yes. Yes we do. We need it to go all the way around the house, and all the way around the laundry room and to do it every day until I can walk in my own goddamned house without being afraid. Because I just swept up a huge pile of little dead ants, and as I was doing it, a half-dozen more came crawling out of the wall to set up a new shop. There are ant bodies when I shake out the bathroom rugs. They build their fucking hills right over the ant poison. I've doused the floor in Windex, because it makes their little bodies shrivel up and die, but it won't last.
He keeps forgetting to get some - and he doesn't like it when I try to get it. It's a nightmare for me. I don't understand how someone can keep forgetting something this important. I can feel them crawling on me, even sitting over here. I've checked my pants five times to make sure there aren't any, and I can still feel them. I'm afraid to walk through my own kitchen.
All I wanted was some lunch. I don't know if I have the stomach to eat it now. I keep having paranoid fantasies about opening the fridge to find boiling masses of ants. But I'm starving. And I have to go back over there sometime; I can't get to my car keys without.
I hate this. Don't you understand?

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