I am an overly happy A.D.D kitten
Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
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Today, in my mailboxes, I got the following:
Subject: I'm waiting for your response ixihjqpds
She'll do all the things your wife or girlfriend won't. Five minutes with her, or any of the thousands of girls at ImLive, and you'll never be the same again. Find out why the rest of the world is addicted to ImLive and getting the best LIVE one-on-one action you can get without getting arrested.
1: I don't have a wife or a girlfriend.
2: If I did have a girlfriend, considering the people I hang out with she sure as hell would do pretty much anything I would, which means I can't think of anything more I'd want her to do. And although the idea is intriguing and potentially tantalising, I'm getting all the nookie I could want as-is. Sorry. Try again next time.
3: You know what? Most of the live one-on-one action I would want involves someone's tongue going places that I believe are legally forbidden in the state of Indiana. Whoops.
From: Laura_Watson (Shirley's sister, maybe? I dated a guy named Watson once.)
Subject: I want deep penetration slvzy
Hi! I thought I'd take a chance and see if you wanted to meet. I'm 22and I have brown eyes and blond hair. I used to want to be a famousporn star but I got pregnant. I have been in a couple of pretty low budgetadult films but my career is kind of on hold. I work at Bob's Big Boy asa waitress nights during the week and sometimes on weekends. I'mhoping to get back into the business soon when my son is old enoughto go to day care. But for now I just enjoy meeting guys and doing it forfun. Anyways, I love it when guys pull my hair. I'm very submissiveand I like to be taken charge of in bed. I always have a few hours everyday so lets' set something up. TammyPie***
1: Hi. You're obviously (a) not too bright and (b) a diagnosis. Although the sample pictures were really quite delectable, if low-res, you are also obviously the sort of trailer-trash whore who uses a site like bangmatch.com to pass gonorrhoea around the Internet. Honestly. I prefer my women with brains - and I have better picks right here at home, thanks.
2: I'm not a guy. Sorry.
3: Oh, dear gods, get rid of the nasty avocado couch. Please.
Subject: zvgqlaWWould you like aa hhuuggee o snnaakke
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1: I don't have a member to enlarge. Nor do I want one. I've always been of the opinion that the penis looks like something a 3-year-old hacked out of Play-dough. See previous rants on enlarging my member.
2: Angel doesn't need his enlarged either, thanks. I like it the size it is. Thanks, really.
I didn't get any real e-mail today, but I did get a CD in the mail from wintercolours, that I promise I'll listen to very soon. It was great excitement!
And we went garage-saling. Acquired more purple towels, a kittycat keychain, and a pair of wireless headphones. Also saw some much lovely furnitureness sold by people who smoked, so it smelt disgusting. Also saw an armoire with the sign "Omwar" on it. Took me a moment to figure out that in someone's mind, that was how one spelt 'armoire'. Wow.
To the people selling used copies of Dirty Pictures and Read my Lips: Isn't that sort of like selling used sexy undergarments, only without them being washable? Eww.